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“Natalie!”
My head snaps back to see Kha’zeth high up on the hill, his eyes trained on me, and the chaos magic that seems to be consuming him, lighting his eyes and wrapped around his arms, reminds me so much of the raid.
The choking sound of Toklys fills my ears once again, and I’m on my feet, scrambling down the hillside. I can hide beneath this rock jutting out, and he’ll probably keep going, keep looking for me.
When I come around it, though, I realize it is a cave, and I can barely see a few feet into the mouth. It’s the perfect hiding spot because there’s no way that Kha’zeth will be able to see me in here.
I dive in, not daring to peek back to see where he is, and I press my hand to the cave wall to guide me. It’s very dark in here, and the dying light outside does nothing to illuminate it.
The cave is narrower than I originally thought, and the walls on either side are almost touching at certain points, but I keep pressing forward. My eyes are adjusting slowly, but I can just barely make out a path ahead of me, telling me I haven’t reached the end.
Maybe this is actually a tunnel and it will lead me far away from Kha’zeth’s manor, somewhere that I can rest and parse out the broken memories. I keep pushing forward, hoping that I lost him, when I hear a thud outside the cave.
From the entrance, Kha’zeth’s whispered voice carries around the vastly empty space. It echoes around me, coming at me from all directions until I want to scream.
“Natalie, Natalie, Natalite.” My own name bombarbs me. “Come back, come back, come back. It’s not safe, not safe, not safe.”
I want to shriek, tell him to go away. I’m not sure that I am safe with him, and the fact that he’s stalking me into dark caves at night when I so clearly need space from him only upsets me further. Why can’t he leave me alone?
I grit my teeth as I keep going. I won’t give him the satisfaction of confirming I’m in here. He might just be testing to see if I answer so he can charge in and force me back.
Gods, I was such an idiot for trusting him. I knew all this time why he took me, and I don’t know how I let myself become convinced that he was anything more than a demon who dragged me away to force me into breeding. I let him into my heart and to take my body because I thought–so, so stupidly I thought–that there was something more between us.
I have to stifle a harsh laugh. Oh, how I was wrong.
The only sound around me is the soft drip as tears slide off my face, the patter of them hitting the cave floor more consistent than my footsteps. I am amazed they are still falling, but every time they start to slow, a fresh wave of grief and pain hits me. I lost the only man I trusted and loved, and when I opened my heart to another, he lied to me and used me.
I should have never lost sight of what his intentions were. I saw who he was the first day we met, and I let him lull me into a false sense of security with this act he put on for me. Like a fool, I believed it all, and now, I’m trapped.
“Natalie!” He must be at the part where the walls are narrow because his voice doesn’t echo. “Please, come back to me. Please!”
The anguish in his voice must be fake. Damn he is a good actor, and he certainly had me fooled, but no longer. I can’t take anymore of his lies and his tricks. I’ve already given him too much of myself, and he kept his involvement in the raid from me! And for what? To bed me–
A gasp escapes me as another realization hits. I press a hand to my stomach, and another wave of sobs starts to build in my chest.
What if I’m already pregnant? It’s too soon to be able to tell, but Kha’zeth made good on his duties when it came to breeding me. Once I let him have me, he took me over and over until he was certain that one of our couplings would take.
And I have to wonder if it did. Fear sends my heart fluttering, and I tremble as I press harder on my lower abdomen, wishing there was some way for me to know. But what good would it do for me to find out? Could I really carry the child of the demon who killed the only person I’ve ever truly loved?
I shake my head, my throat burning with the concealed hysteria. I want nothing more than to sink to my knees and curl in on myself. It’s too much for me to take, and I feel overwhelmed with it all.
“Natalie.”
No! I want to scream. Leave me alone! You’ve done enough!
But I keep silent as Kha’zeth’s voice gets closer. Just this morning the idea of being apart from him filled me with anxiety, and now it's his proximity that makes me want to scream.
Does he know if I’m pregnant? Is that why he changed his attitude toward me? Gods below, if I lost Toklys only to carry his killer’s child…
It may be wrong of me, but how will I be able to cope with my child sharing the face of a demon – one I despise, no less? Every look at him will send new waves of anger and pain through me, and I don’t want that for my child. I wanted them to be happy and free with a family that loves them.
Not the result of an experiment.
What if I can’t love my own child? I’ll be filled with resentment toward them, and they will grow up without the love they deserve. Am I a terrible person for being unable to overcome this? It’s tearing me up inside to think I could be a mother that could turn her back on her own kid, but how could I hold a demon baby when he will look like Kha’zeth?
He will be a monster’s spawn.
“Natalie, please. Let’s go back to the manor. Whatever is upsetting you, we can talk about it.” Kha’zeth’s voice is so soothing that I can see how easily I was sucked in. He won me over with kind words, and he thinks a soft tone and a few easy promises are all it will take to have me running into his arms again.
