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LAYLA
“You… want to date me?” I ask later that evening, my stomach flipping.
“Fake-date,” Josh corrects quickly. “It would all be pretend.” Zack nods and grins, like that makes perfect sense. I squint at them.
This was not what I expected when Zack asked me to come over to their flat after work. I honestly thought it would be some kind of intervention. I spent the whole afternoon in my meetings mentally drafting my apology. When I finally made it back to their flat, all three men were at their breakfast bar, drinking beers and huddled over pages of handwritten notes. Before I could even open my mouth to say sorry, they’d sat me down, offered me a drink, and proceeded to pitch the stupidest-sounding idea that I’ve ever heard.
I look between the guys. Zack is beaming enthusiastically. Luke won’t look up from his beer. Josh’s eyes are fixed fiercely on me.
I bite my lip. “And you think you can actually teach me how to date?”
“‘Course, pet,” Zack says easily. “We’re love masters.”
Luke frowns. “There’s no way this is really necessary,” he says flatly. “You can’t be that bad at dating.” He waves at me. “I mean, look at you.”
I look down at myself. “What do you mean?”
Zack leans forward, a shit-eating grin splitting his face. “Yeah, Mr Martins. What do you mean?”
“I…” Luke runs a hand through his silvering hair, his cheeks flushing. “You’re a beautiful girl, Layla. You’re smart and put-together. Give it some time, and you’ll find the right guy.”
“I’ve given it plenty of time. If it was going to happen, it would have by now.” I turn back to Josh. “Okay. Assuming I did this, how would it work?”
Josh shuffles through the papers. “We’d take you on dates. Let you practice flirting. Get you comfortable with displays of affection. We can help get you acclimated to… romantic situations.”
“We’d basically be your boyfriends,” Zack says cheerfully.
“More or less,” Josh cuts in. “We can walk you through all of the things that you’re unsure about. Texting a guy. Inviting him round to your place. Apologising after a fight.” He tilts his head, his dark eyes drinking me in. “Do you think that will be helpful for you?”
Yeah, I think it will be helpful. Being able to roleplay with the guys, who I know won’t judge me when I mess up, is the most helpful thing anyone could possibly do for me.
It’s almost too helpful.
“What do you get out of it?” I say slowly.
“Content,” Josh says promptly. “I think we can turn the concept into a segment on our show. Like… a dating makeover. We take someone who’s romantically hopeless and teach her how to start a relationship. That way, we give the audience actual, practical tips, and we can prove our credentials to our listeners.”
“... okay,” I say. “Why do you need to do that?”
“Some knobheads have been saying online that we shouldn’t be giving advice,” Zack says, scowling. “But you could help us prove them wrong. We’d be your fake boyfriends, then at the end of every week, you’d come on the show for fifteen minutes and talk about what we taught you. Easy peasy.”
“Our numbers are flagging,” Josh admits. “It would be a great way of getting engagement. We can have listeners tweet in with date suggestions, answer polls, stuff like that.”
Zack nods. “Our production manager almost came when we pitched the idea to him.”
I dither. “What exactly would be my commitments? I’m pretty busy.”
“I know.” Josh flips through his pages of notes. “I’d ask for one formal date night per week, and three hours’ recording time on Sundays. We’ll also give you some homework.”
“I’m gonna teach you how to sext,” Zack says gleefully. “I already have a ton of material.”
“Zack,” Luke says sharply, setting his beer down hard on the counter.
I don’t say anything. I feel a bit giddy. Luke might not approve, but honestly, the idea is very appealing. The guys are actually going to help me.
“Okay,” I say. “I can do that.”
Josh nods, flipping a page. “There’s the issue of money. Whenever we have guests on the show, we usually give them a percentage of the episode’s earnings.”
