AllFreeNovel
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I dated this woman for two years. I’ve been inside her hundreds of times. But she looks right through me as if I’m not even here.
Which is fine. I’m used to it.
My heart feels like it’s bursting out of my chest.
Her eyes fall on Daisy, tucked between us. “Wow. You’re still doing this, then?”
“We don’t want to talk to you,” Cole mutters.
“There’s no need to be rude,” she says coolly, turning to Daisy. “How’s it working out? Have they moved you in, yet?”
Daisy just blinks back at her, not understanding. “Um.Förlåt.I don’t speak Swedish.”
Johanna’s pink lips part in surprise. “A foreigner? You’re shipping them in from overseas, now?”
Riven moves to step in front of Daisy. “Don’t talk to her,” he barks. “What are you even doing up here?”
Johanna blinks. “Oh. We’re just on a little visit home.”
“We?”
She nods, looking over her shoulder. “Rickard!” She calls. “Come over here and say hello!”
A little kid with white-blonde hair unsticks himself from a shop window and runs toward us, stumbling a bit in the snow.
“Hello,” he says cheerfully, pulling up next to his mum. “Who are you?”
All of the colour drops out of Cole’s face. He actually takes a step backwards, staggering back in the snow. My heart twists for him.
Johanna starts messing with the kid’s hair. “These are some old friends. They knew you when you were a baby. This is Riven, and Cole, and—well, Eli, I guess you never met Rickard before, did you? You were still in jail.”
I feel like I’ve been slapped. Riven sucks in a deep breath. Cole’s hand clenches into a fist. Daisy looks between us all, clearly confused.
Johanna smiles blandly. “Good to see they let you out.”
I swear to God, my vision goes dark at the edges. My ears fill with static. All of a sudden, I can’t do this shit anymore. Ican’t.Dropping Daisy’s hand, I turn on my heel and walk away, pulling out my phone to call a taxi.
I don’t even register the drive. It’s like I black out. My brain just switches off. The next thing I know, I’m at the rental desk at the slopes, bargaining with my coworker Carolina.
“I need to rent equipment,” I tell her gruffly. I’m leaning on the counter, shaking and sweaty. It feels like my heart is whirring out of my chest. I knock my fist to my sternum, trying to get it to slow the fuck down.
She looks over me, concerned. “Eli, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I push my hair back with a trembling hand. “I need equipment,” I repeat.
“Honey, what you need is to sit down. You look like you’re gonna pass out.” She reaches for my shoulders to push me into a chair, but I just shake her hands away.
“Give. Me. The. Equipment,” I bite out. “Now, for fuck’s sake!”
Her eyes widen. I’m not surprised. I never talk to anyone like that. I’m gonna feel like such a dick tomorrow, but right now, I’m just not feeling very fucking charming. I feel like my head is about to explode.
She checks out some equipment for me, and I head up on the gondola, navigating to our hardest double-black diamond. No one else is up here. I ski over to the start of the trail and look down. The slope is steep; almost a direct vertical drop right down the mountain. Trees line either side, narrowing the path, and a sharp cliff’s edge drops off at the end.
I pull down my goggles. Time slows down. My chest tightens. I can hear my own shaky breaths in my ears. Carolina was probably right; I shouldn’t be doing this right now. I’m not in the right headspace. My reaction time will be all screwed up. I should go do a few easier trails until I’ve calmed down.
But right now, I don’t give a fuck. I push myself off the edge, flying into the air, then feel myself start to fall.
Nineteen
