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It’s only when he realized that it wasn’t mine that he was able to relax.
“I don’t know what to say to them.”
Angel peers up at me, snuggling in a little closer. It makes me squirm, but I allow it. I know how much he’s missed me, how worried he’s been. “You’ll know what to say when you call. It’ll come to you.”
I swallow harshly, hating that I feel so damn weak these days. It was never a problem before but now that I’ve had Skylar, something’s changed inside of me.
I’m different.
“I need their numbers,” I say to my father who is standing at the entrance of the room. He’s dressed impeccably as usual in his pressed slacks and button-up shirt. His face shows no emotion, but he’s lingered for far too long outside this door.
He hasn’t said much since bringing me home, but he has made sure to check in on me and Skylar throughout the day.
It means something, that he’s trying. I’ll take it, I guess. I’ll take anything as long as Skylar lives.
“I can get into contact…” he begins, but I cut him off.
“No. I want to. I need to.”
Skylar never wanted our worlds to connect, stating specifically that I’d never meet his family. My heart lurches at the thought, and I struggle to breathe. Maybe I shouldn’t call, shouldn’t invade his carefully kept personal life…but then I discard the thought completely.
I’d want to know if I were them. They deserve to hear what he did from me.
He’s like this, half-dead in a coma, because he risked his life for mine. He did this to save me.
I don’t know if I was worth it.
My father reappears a moment later, a phone in his hand and two numbers scrawled on a piece of paper. With trembling fingers, I dial the first one. His mother. As the phone rings, Angel slips his hand into mine and squeezes.
“You’ve got this,” he whispers.
A sweet voice answers a second later and I find it hard to make words leave my lips. “Hello, is this Skylar’s mother?” I finally croak out.
“Yes,” she says, and I swallow, steeling myself for the news I’m about to give her.
“This is a…friend. I’m sorry to tell you that Skylar’s been injured on the job…”
Her gasp makes my heart crack and nothing can ever make it better. Not time, not money. Nothing will remove that sound from my mind. It’s frozen there, a bad memory left to haunt me.
I’m simultaneously raging and furious when I realize that Elio is dead and gone. That I was the one to put him out of his misery. Perhaps I should have kept him alive so that I could take my anger out on him again andagain, but ultimately I’m glad he’s dead. For Angel’s sake as well as my own.
The world is a better place without him in it.
“If you’d like to come visit…” I begin.
She doesn’t even let me finish. “Yes. Please. Tell me where.”
I rattle off the address and then insist on making the travel plans for them, letting her know that I’ll be calling back with all of the details as soon as I have them. Before I even hang up, Angel moves from my side and returns with his laptop.
And for the next hour we make arrangements, calling Skylar’s mother again and then his sister, my heart breaking with each word out of my mouth, but at least they’re coming. At least they’ll be able to see him if things suddenly take a turn for the worse.
He better not take any turns. He better be full speed ahead.
“I should lie down next to him. Just so he doesn’t feel so alone,” I tell Angel once I set the phone down, suddenly feeling so cold and empty. Angel nods, not saying a word to contradict me, and stands up, pulling Skylar’s blanket back, careful to avoid the cords and tubes connected to him, and motions for me to slide inside.
As soon as I do, Skylar’s body warmth hits me, and I press into his uninjured side, inhaling his scent. Fuck. Why does he smell so good? Why does he smell like home?
This whole thing has carved a hole inside of me, has splayed me wide open.
