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Bailey struggled to find the words. She was embarrassed and ashamed of how she had failed. She had promised Carmen she would never go back to Cinderhill, and now here she was, right back where she started. They’d talked a few times before this, but Bailey had always tried to paint a rosy picture of how Cinderhill had reformed. That things were safe and stable. Now that Carmen knew the truth, Bailey was mortified.
"I... I don't know," Bailey stammered. "I guess there are no secrets now. King told you everything. You know it’s bad again and you know I put myself in this position. After all you did for me—”
“This would be happening whether you were back in Cinderhill or not. It sounds like you’re the one who’s kept it at bay this long. The people there have you to thank for the period of safety they’ve experienced.”
“But I came back here after all you and Gloria did for me.”
“I let parts of my old life back in too,” Carmen admitted tentatively. “My sisters. I never thought I’d see them again. I didn’t think I could maintain the mental health I’d fought so hard for and look backward at the same time. But it’s not backward. My sisters aren’t little kids anymore, left in the dark about my abuse and how my parents took his side. They’re grown women with full lives and wonderful hearts. I was afraid, but now I’m so glad I have them again.”
“Really?” Bailey asked, sniffling back the emotion. She’d worried about this conversation since the moment she realized the danger around Cinderhill was still looming and Carmen might be the only one able to help her.
There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line before Carmen spoke again.
"Are you safe?" she asked, her voice calm and measured. “Is there anything happening right now?”
Bailey nodded even though Carmen couldn't see her. "It’s quiet right now, but I don't know how long that will last."
“And your mother?”
“What has King told you about her?”
“Just that she’s ill and he’s worried her death could act as a catalyst for more danger.”
“It’s curable,” Bailey gulped out. “That’s what’s so crazy. My mother could go to the hospital and get a regiment of intravenous antibiotics and medical intervention and survive. She’s refusing because my father has told her she’ll be healed when his men have returned and are welcomed into Cinderhill.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, it’s really screwed up. My mother was a big reason I came back here. I hoped with some physical distance from my father she would wake from his spell. But it never happened. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get her free from his grip, and now it’s too late. She’s willing to die for him.”
"I'm so sorry, Bailey," Carmen said, her voice choked with emotion. "I haven’t had the courage to face my mother again after she and my father sided with my abuser. My mother is mentally unwell. She burned down my childhood home recently and had been tormenting my sisters. I thought I was the only one she hurt. You’re very strong for trying to help her.”
Bailey took a deep breath, feeling a glimmer of hope. "Thank you, Carmen," she said softly. "I should have told you sooner what was going on. Obviously, you knew something was wrong, because you sent King.”
“King,” Carmen said with a sigh. “My intentions were good, I promise. He was in a unique position and seemed like the only option. I wasn’t trying to spy on you.”
Bailey took a deep breath, attempting to process Carmen's words. "I understand," she accepted. "I know you had to send someone to check on me, and I'm grateful that you did. It's just hard to face the fact that he was only doing his job." She looked down at her hands and picked at a loose string on her sweatshirt. "It felt like we had a connection, and now I don't know what to think."
"I know it's difficult, but please don't blame King for any of this. He was following orders.” Carmen was trying to smooth this over, but it didn’t hit right.
“That makes it worse. Following orders to pretend to like me and get me to like him back? It’s disingenuous.”
"I didn't tell him to get close to you,” Carmen explains quickly. “That was never part of the plan. If he cares for you, it's because he truly does. I would never put either of you in that position."
"I don't want to be angry with him or you. It's just hard to trust anyone after what happened."
"I might have bungled this whole thing. I’m not Gloria. She always knew how to handle these things. But you can trust me, Bailey. I'm here for you, no matter what. And if King cares for you, I'm sure he'll prove it to you in time."
"Or die trying.” Bailey cringed. “I’m worried he’s feeling so guilty he’s going to take too many risks.”
“He talked to me about going back to the camp and getting some evidence. I’m assuming that would dangerous?”
“Very. Isn’t there anything else we can do?”
“Yes.” Carmen answered just a bit too fast to seem calm. “There is something we can do. Get everyone, including yourself, out of there. Let us help you with that. I can fly you here, in Boston, and we’d have time to properly catch up. I miss you. I miss our talks. Our jokes.”
The nostalgia was a deep pull in her chest but Bailey knew if she left now, Cinderhill would be gone forever. There would be no coming back from what James and his men would do.
“I’m going to stay here and see it through this time. I know it’s dangerous, but I’m a different person now than the last time you helped me leave. A lot of that strength is thanks to you. Now it’s time for me to use it.”
