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But he was fragile, and I needed to take things slowly.
We couldn’t really know how compatible we were until we actually tried to live our lives together. But I also wanted him to fully process and deal with the feelings from his past relationships. He’d been through a lot in a short period of time and one week of safety didn’t seem like enough time for him to be ready to really consider something serious.
And I wanted something serious. And permanent.
So, for the next several days, our routine didn’t change much. I still fussed over him in every way he’d let me, but nothing else was different. Except for the fact that he didn’t go back to the guest room. My room with his new room.
Even Luna loved the new arrangement. She seemed relieved to have her body on both of ours at night, so neither of us could move once she landed on us. The only reason I allowed her to continue the ridiculous habit was because it kept Jesse and me from getting carried away at night. As much as I wanted to try everything with him, we both needed some boundaries for the short term.
Almost a week later, on Thursday evening, I got home from work and noticed Jesse seemed restless. Antsy.
“Is everything okay?” I patted the cushion next to me on the couch, and he reluctantly sat down.
“I guess. I just feel…” He looked around anxiously, like he wasn’t sure what to do or say next. “Well, like I should be doing something. I’ve always had stuff to do whether I wanted to or not, and it’s weird to just do nothing all day.”
I mentally kicked myself for not anticipating that this would be a problem. Not that I could read minds or that I proclaimed to know what he was thinking at every moment, but he’d mentioned a few times that he wanted to help and keep busy.
And I ignored him. Not intentionally ignored him, but didn’t hear his offer as the request it actually was. Fuck, I needed to do better.
“Well, that’s easy to remedy. Maybe if you have some chores around the house, that’ll help keep you busy.”
He nodded quickly. “Yeah, I think that would be good. Also…maybe I can get a job.”
“Of course. Whenever you’re ready, I know several people who own companies that would be happy to hire you. Even Tony mentioned needing some help over at the clinic.”
Jesse’s eyes perked up, and his shoulders dropped with relief. “I’m so glad you’re okay with this. I was afraid you wouldn’t let me.”
“Let you?” I pulled him onto my lap and wrapped my arms around his waist. “First of all, I don’t control you. I will nevernotlet you do something. All I want is for you to be happy, and if working and being productive makes you happy, then I will encourage you and support you in any way I can. Do you understand?”
He had a bashful grin on his face as he peeked at me from under long lashes. “Yes, Daddy.” He didn’t use the term outside the bedroom very often, and when he did, a soft flush always crept up his neck.
And I never got tired of hearing it.
“Good boy.” I nestled my face into the crook of his neck and gave him a kiss by his ear. “You make me very happy.”
He turned and threw his arms around my neck, embracing me tightly as the tension in his body released.
I just held him for a few long moments, enjoying the quiet happiness we both radiated. But when his stomach rumbled, I knew it was time to get moving. “I didn’t pick up dinner tonight because I was thinking maybe we could go out.”
Jesse pulled away, and his eyes got big. “Like on a date? In a restaurant?”
I poked his side and gave him a tickle. “Yes, in a restaurant. I’ll even put on a nice sweater since you pretty much only see me in work clothes and sweats.”
He pulled back and tugged the hemline of my T-shirt. “I like you in your work clothes. You’re all sexy and manly and…stinky.”
I laughed and lifted him off my lap and dropped him onto the couch beside me. “Fine, fine. I can take a hint. I’ll go shower and change. I’ll be ready in…twenty minutes?”
Jesse stood up and then cocked his head, looking back at me. “I’m not sure I have anything to wear that’s… nice. How fancy are we talking?”
“Not fancy. I’m thinking pizza or burgers. Something casual, so a T-shirt will be fine.” I gave him a kiss on his nose before turning toward the stairs. “We’ll go shopping this weekend. Make sure you have a full wardrobe for job-hunting and date nights.”
“Date nights?” He tested the words with a big grin. “I like the sound of that.”
* * *
My boy looked good in everything and nothing, but when he was excited, he absolutely glowed.
It was a clear night, so we decided to bundle up and walk the four blocks to one of my favorite burger joints instead of driving downtown. It was a cool night, but Jesse wrapped his arms around my bicep for warmth, hanging off me as we walked.
