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His lips curved upward wickedly. “No. It means I’m the only one who gets to see you in those skimpy clothes. It means your body belongs to me, and no one else.”
“Well, that sounds possessive.”
“It is.” Those gorgeous eyes of his practically burned me.
“Lya told me that random girls get to kiss you on the first day of the year,” I put out there. “Does our mating affect that?”
“Of course.” His answer was quick, and sharp. “If another woman touched me, you’d be within your right to end them.”
My eyebrows shot upward. “I don’t think I could do that.”
“I belong to you, Cier. If something happens and you don’t want to make that clear to the other females, I’ll do it for you.”
I let out a long breath of air. “Damn. This is kind of intense.”
“Mating is very intense. But as I said, we get to decide how it works for us. It’s our relationship, and our choice.”
I nodded. “What’s the next step, then? I need, like, a list or something.”
“I’d like to move you into my castle. You’ll be safer there—and we’ll have more privacy. There are no staff, and there are rarely guards. My water runs in the air, through the floor, and in the walls, so I’m aware of everything that happens there.”
I grimaced. “That feels too fast. I don’t know…”
“What feels right for you, then?” His expression was patient, though I’d basically just shot him down.
“If we were humans, we’d start dating. We’d get to know each other, maybe spend the night at each others’ place sometimes…” I bit my lip.
“I won’t sleep away from you anymore,” he warned me. “And I’ll have to hunt Crest down, so I’ll probably need to leave for a day or two.”
I frowned. “Why can’t I go with you?”
“It’s not safe.” His answer was immediate, with no hesitation. “My brother knows he forfeit his life when he woke Heliai. I no longer have an excuse to let him live. If I find him with you at my side, he won’t pause before killing you. I should be able to protect you, but it’s a risk I’m not willing to take.”
I slid to the headboard so I could lean up against it, propping my legs up on my mattress. “So you’re going to leave me again.”
His forehead wrinkled. “My absence is far preferable to your death.”
“Yeah, I know.” I closed my eyes and let out a long breath of air. “My sister got cancer before I was born. She was sick for a long time. My parents only had me in hopes that I’d be able to donate blood for her, and bone marrow, and… well, she died before I was old enough, and they never wanted me, so they didn’t try to be there for me.”
I continued, “I was always alone growing up, even when they were there. It didn’t matter how well I did in anything. I graduated early, got my degree quickly, and got into med school super young, but I was just never her, so they weren’t interested. Even if I’d been absolutely perfect, I wouldn’t have been good enough. So I have a hard time with people leaving me. It brings back those memories, and makes me feel like I’m wasting my time caring about someone else who doesn’t care about me.”
Zoran crossed the room and sat beside me on the edge of the bed. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in for a tight hug, and said quietly, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. Your world kind of saved me, anyway,” I whispered, eyes filling with tears. “It was really hard for me when you started avoiding me. I felt like we were friends—really good ones. And I’ve never been great at making friends.”
He squeezed me tighter. “We are, Cier.”
“I know. It’s just going to take me some time to start feeling that way again. I felt like you didn’t want me anymore.”
He squeezed me tighter, and then released me for a moment. Lifting his hands, he signed, “That will never be true. I have always wanted you and will always want you.”
“Just don’t be offended if it takes me a while to really believe that,” I said quietly.
He added, “My parents pitted me and Crest against each other the day we were old enough to fight. I refused to hurt him, but he didn’t have the same qualms. If my magic had come in any later, I wouldn’t have survived another year or two. I may not understand exactly what you experienced, but I know the impact of parents who don’t love the way they should. It takes a long time to move on from it, and you never completely forget.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I nodded.
“You’ll come with me while I search,” he signed. “When we find a lead, you’ll stay somewhere safe while I follow it. There may be a small amount of added danger, but your comfort is worth a slight risk.”
