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“Well, hi there, handsome,” he says and grins, infectiously. “Are you doing alright in here?”
The two of us look very cute in the mirror. I know photographers who would be sad they’d missed this moment. Then again, maybe that’s what really makes it special. This is ours. No one else gets to see it. It’s not gonna go on billboards selling perfume. Just me and Ragnar. Nobody else.
“I’m doing great,” I say, and mean it. I’m still so full of the energy and the sweetness of our night together. It’s all of what I remembered loving about our relationship, and a lot of things I had forgotten too. The flow of being with him feels so effortless, so easy to maintain.
“Are you almost ready for breakfast?” he asks. “I was thinking we could head out to the diner.”
I’m still a little surprised by that. I still thought when he said breakfast he meant we would be having it in the house. Privately, the way Ragnar always wanted to do things.
That’s when I realize I’m already preparing for him to pull away, to put up walls around this. I was half expecting him to start doing it while we were on the bed, talking and cuddling. Even though he’s every bit as fun and funny, and a lot more grown up, it’s hard for me to totally relax with him while I’m still waiting for that shoe to drop.
“That sounds nice.”
I want to press the issue. Ask him whether those walls are going to come up, and when. But at the same time, I’m also afraid that if I do that, it’ll make things worse. It’s scary, but it feels easier to just go with things for now. See where they end up.
“They might want you to wear socks,” he remarks, looking at my eyes in the mirror.
“Well, forget it then,” I say, turning around in his arms to face him. “I’m not going to whatever weird, Puritan restaurant you’ve found that won’t even serve a customer who’s not wearing socks.”
He laughs. “You might find the walk a little unpleasant.”
“That’s okay,” I reply. “You’ll just have to carry me.”
For a second, I don’t know what’s happening. And then, suddenly, I’m in his arms and he’s smiling down at me. “You mean like this?”
I giggle, delighted at the sensation of being in his strong, steady arms. “Exactly right. Now, onwards! To the restaurant! Chop chop!”
I clap my hands together and he laughs. I can feel his stomach moving against me. It’s wonderful. Carefully, he sets me back down on my feet. “I’m afraid my arms might get a little sore by the time we get there. I wouldn’t want to risk dropping you.”
I roll my eyes. “Ugh, fine. I guess I’ll just have to use my legs to get there. Like some kind of peasant.”
I pick my socks off the ground and walk back into the bedroom where I sit down to put them on. Ragnar stands over me.
“You’re looking at me funny,” I say. He has a sort of pleasant, dreamy expression on his face like he’s picturing something nice, but very far away.
“Am I?” He starts slightly, obviously pulled out of some daydream. “I was just thinking about the two of us. How long it’s been. And how lucky I am to run into you again.”
I feel a blush rising on my face. He feels lucky? Imagine how I feel.
That was one of the best things I remembered from our relationship. Even as he refused to tell anyone about us, Ragnar was always just so happy to be with me, and he went out of his way to make sure I knew that. That felt good, and it made me notice how happy I felt to be with him too.
I start scanning the floor for my shoes. That’s when Ragnar’s face turns mischievous. “What’s the matter?” he asks. “Is there something you’re not finding?”
I glare. “Okay, what did you do?”
“Look, you left me alone with them while you were in the bathroom doing your hair,” he says. “You can’t blame me for hiding them.”
“You hid my shoes?”
“Just in this room!” he protests. “I’ll even do hotter-colder if you want.”
“I can’t believe you hid my shoes.”
Shaking my head, I stand up and walk towards the closet.
“Colder…” Ragnar announces.
It’s about five minutes before I find both shoes. One is in the sock drawer of a bureau underneath the socks, while the other is nestled very carefully among the pillows. I can’t help giggling as I finally start to actually put the shoes on. I remembered the part of Ragnar that loved silly little games like that, and I’m glad he hasn’t lost it.
