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Gorlag turns to Bradford. “I have to say, I’m very excited to meet someone who managed to get Ragnar to open his heart.”
“It wasn’t always easy,” Bradford says, starting to put on some more of his charisma. “But having fashion model good looks probably doesn’t hurt.”
“I’ll say it doesn’t,” Glenda agrees.
“Bradford always gives his looks the credit for how charming he is,” I insert. “But don’t be fooled. He’s charming all the way through.”
“Yes, well, that’s easy enough for Ragnar to say,” Bradford replies. “Once you get under that shell of his, he’s about as big a softie as they come.”
“I’ll certainly give you that I’m big,” I say, flexing my arm a little.
Gorlag chuckles. “You know, Ragnar, when you showed up here, the first thing I thought was that what you needed was someone to care about. It’s good to see I was right.”
There’s an awkward pause as Bradford and I look at each other, trying to figure out how to respond to that. Before we can, Emily comes back, the dining room apparently calmed down again, at least for a little.
“Uh oh,” she announces, as she walks up. “What did my husband say this time?”
“I was just trying to be nice!” Gorlag protests. “Besides, it’s obvious from the way the two of you talk that you both care a lot about each other! I’ve never seen Ragnar like this with anyone else! Right, Glenda?”
“Well, I wouldn’t have said it out loud, unlike certain brothers of mine,” Glenda says. “But I agree. Ragnar does seem a lot more at ease than he normally does.”
“And Bradford keeps blushing!” Amelia adds. He flushes a particularly bright color at that remark.
“It’s just… the two of us are figuring out what we are,” I manage, finally. This whole thing is a lot, and I can tell how embarrassed Bradford is. I wish we could have gotten a little more time to talk, just the two of us. But on the other hand, it’s nice to see Bradford getting to meet people, and even other people getting to embarrass the two of us a little. It feels like exactly what I used to be afraid of in college, only, it isn’t so bad.
“Ah, the exciting time,” Gorlag says. “Well, my wife is glaring at me, so I’ll shut up in a second. But I’ll tell you, there’s nothing like finding someone who makes you happy and who you can make happy too. That is precious, and if you find it, I say, do whatever it takes to make it last.”
“That’s Gorlag for you,” Emily adds. “Don’t mind him.”
But he’s right, I think. It is precious. But I can tell that Brad’s still cautious, still holding back. I hope I have what it takes to make something of this second chance.
15
BRADFORD
Iclutch my chest and close my eyes, still playing back everything Ragnar said the day before. Over and over, his insistence that ‘this time will be different’ echoes in my mind with no signs of getting quieter.
I want to believe him. God, but I want to so badly. I feel like I’m moving through a dream right now. Ragnar showing back up into my life, acknowledging the way he hurt me before, and then going through the work of trying to make it better? This is a fantasy few people dare to even consider. And here I am, right now, truly living it.
Being with Ragnar feels as easy as breathing. There were moments yesterday where we moved together like nothing had ever changed. As if we’d stayed together all these years, knew each other like an old married couple. This feels so easy.
It feelstooeasy. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For something to come up, for Ragnar to drop everything on a dime and rush back to the city without a single goodbye. The fear has played out in my head more than once, and I find myself almost expecting him to not be there when he says he will be. Just waking up to his smile was a shock, and now we’re about to spend another day together?
How did I get so lucky? Is this sustainable? Will he really commit to me, to the work of being together? I have to believe it. My heart wants to think this is something that can last. Something thatwilllast. All I can do is stay positive and hope for the best.
I wave as Ragnar arrives at our scheduled meeting location: right outside of the local cafe. We planned to get coffee together, then meet up with my modeling buddies before they leave town. I was going to hang out with them by myself, but the excuse to spend even more time with Ragnar was too enticing to pass up.
“You look good,” Ragnar says, obviously stumbling over his words. I smile. Even though I hear that very sentiment about a dozen times a day, it feels special when he says it.
“You’re not so bad looking yourself,” I reply, running my thumb over his neatly trimmed beard. “Coffee?” I ask, gesturing inside. Ragnar opens the door and holds it for me, even though I didn’t ask for either. These are the small things I’m noticing. Gestures that are small but mean so much to me.
We order our drinks and linger by the counter while we wait.
“You look nervous,” I say, observing how his eyes are darting around the ceiling as if following an invisible bird.
“Huh? Oh. Well, I’m about to be in a room full of male models. And I’m…you know…”
I blink in genuine confusion. “No, I don’t know.”
