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“You like it?” Katie asks and I realize she’s still there, peering down with a smile.
“You’re very talented,” I reply, trying to get back into the swing of flirting but it feels half-hearted at best.
I know I shouldn’t be thinking about Ragnar — he belongs way in the past. Besides, he hurt me in a way no one else ever has, and I hope no one else ever will. But I suppose that’s the price you pay for falling in love with an alpha asshole. It’s only a matter of time until they hurt you.
Katie is still looking at me, though I can tell she’s getting a little antsy about where this is going. There are plenty of other customers that need drinks and I’m taking up precious time. But my heart just isn’t in it anymore. Maybe tomorrow, after I’ve gotten Ragnar out of my head, I can come back and continue this little dalliance, but for now, I just want to stew over my feelings in peace.
“Thanks for the drink, Katie,” I say as kindly as I can. “I think some other customers are waiting to be served though.”
I see her face drop a little and she hesitates for a moment. It’s clear she doesn’t want me to leave, but I haven’t exactly left the door open to continue our flirting. Part of me feels terrible for her — I started this little game and now I’m bowing out without explanation. But what am I supposed to say?
Sorry, I was into you but then I caught sight of my ex-boyfriend and that’s kind of a boner-killer?
I know I can’t say anything remotely like that, but I still feel the need to break the awkward confusion that’s clearly going on here. “I might come back tomorrow night, though,” I reassure her. It’s not a lie. I might.
She flashes me a smile, obviously relieved.
“That’d be nice,” she tells me before turning to leave. She sends me another flirtatious smile over her shoulder and then turns to serve another customer.
As soon as I’m left alone, I breathe a heavy sigh. But I can’t resist turning around again, slowly this time.
Ragnar isn’t where he was before and I panic for a second, terrified that he might catch sight of me while I’m off guard. A second later though, I spy him closer to the bar, luckily far enough away that I don’t think he’ll see me.
I take another sip of the whisky sour, letting myself drink in the sight of him as well. I can’t help but wonder what he’s like now. Social media and the occasional magazine article can only tell me so much and part of me longs to talk to him, to catch up and find out if he’s changed since we last met.
I hope, as much for his sake as for the lovers he’s had since high school, that he’s lost the tough guy attitude — the one that stopped him from being able to say what he really felt towards me. The one that kept our relationship, if you could even call it that, hidden in the shadows. The one that acted like being attached to anyone was a sign of weakness.
The thought brings painful memories flooding back and I shake my head, trying to loosen them from my mind. I’ve had enough of this torture. I grab my glass off the counter again, downing the rest of the whisky sour in one gulp before stealing out of the bar undetected.
If Ragnar is in town, it’s almost inevitable that I’ll run into him at some point. I just don’t want it to be right now.
3
RAGNAR
The air in Green Haven is a little cleaner, the sun a little brighter and, much as I hate to admit it, the people a little friendlier. Actually, make that a lot friendlier.
I’ve only been here two days but so far I’ve met all of Gorlag’s surrounding neighbors, have been smiled at by five random children, and have befriended two dogs. It’s like even the animals here are nicer than city folk. In fact, it must be something in the air because even Gorlag is more relaxed and warmer than he used to be.
I stroll through the town, and even manage to smile back at the townspeople passing by as I make my way to the grocery store. My mission today is to do some grocery shopping for my gracious hosts, as well as taking my time to explore Green Haven along the way.
It’s not only to repay Gorlag and Emily, not to mention their daughter, Amelia, for their hospitality that I’m heading to the store though. As much as I’m beginning to enjoy the time off, I’m still itching for something to do. I’m used to having a million things on my plate and the sudden lack of responsibility is almost disorienting.
“Good morning!” the greeter calls at the grocery store, startling me a little.
We don’t have a greeter at my grocery store in the city. In fact, where I come from, no one makes eye contact with strangers at all if they can help it.
“Uh, morning,” I mutter before heading into the store.
I’m going to have to get better at that, I think as I grab a basket and peruse the aisles.
I have to admit, the simple pleasures of country life do have their charm and I can see why Gorlag likes it here. It’s sweet, it’s charming, and it’s relaxing. In fact, it’s probably everything Janet envisioned for me when she forced me to take a leave of absence.
As much as I still resent that, the blow is stinging a little less now that I’m actually enjoying the town. Maybe this vacation will do me some good after all.
These are the thoughts running through my mind as I turn a corner and absent-mindedly walk right into a display, sending a whole shelf full of candy skidding across the floor. I curse under my breath, stopping to pick up the multicolored packets but I soon become aware of a presence that wasn’t there before.
No doubt some well-meaning smiley townsperson has stopped to help me, but when I look up to see who it is, my heart pounds in my chest.
