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With that, she’s out the door.
She’s just trying to mess with you, I tell myself. This is another of her mind games. Whenever you don’t give her what she wants, she tells you about how much you need her. This isn’t different from that. It’s just her doing the same thing she always does.
Except it is different. Because now it’s about money. And I don’t know if I can live without money. I’ve never been able to budget and save the way Damien or even Luc can when they need to. When I want something, I want it. And there are a lot of things that I want.
I remember thinking about that when Emma was talking about getting a scholarship to go to law school. Would I have gone to law school if I had to earn my way there the way she did? Or if I couldn’t pay for a nice drink and a private tutor when things got hard? I don’t know. Maybe I have some strength in me I don’t know about.
Maybe I don’t.
I get up and walk over to Damien’s office. He isn’t in it, which means he’s somewhere around the office, like usual. He always likes knowing exactly what’s going on and being in the thick of it.
Me, I think the whole point of an office is being able to avoid unnecessary work. Let it go to whoever the client finds first. It won’t be me.
I walk past Emma who’s doing something that looks very serious on her computer. Did she see Raven coming in and out? What did she think of that? I wish I could talk to her about it, and about last night too, but there’s no time. I see Damien standing over by the water cooler, having what’s probably an important conversation with one of the clerks.
“So basically, we’re making a deal. We get to introduce this witness, and the prosecution gets to introduce theirs. Got it?”
The clerk nods and disappears. I step up to Damien.
“There’s something I need to talk to you about,” I say. He can immediately tell that it’s something serious, and he looks interested, the way he always is with serious things.
“What’s got you down, little bro?” he asks. For once, I’m not in the mood to be that casual.
“Are we having money troubles?”
His face gets serious. “What’s making you ask that?”
“Let’s not worry about why I’m asking,” I answer, more defensively than I need to. I’ve already heard Damien’s thoughts about Raven, and I definitely don’t need to hear them again. “Just tell me if it’s true or not.”
“Alright,” he says, obviously suspicious. “I wouldn’t say things are dire yet, but they are looking down. We’ve lost a few of our biggest clients recently and we’re starting to have to dip into savings to keep everybody paid. Why do you ask?”
I nod. So Raven was right, at least about that much. “Are we talking ‘I shouldn’t plan a trip to the Riviera’ dipping into our savings or ‘I should start stocking up on ramen noodles and rice’ dipping into our savings?”
“We’re talking ‘we don’t know exactly where things are going and we won’t for a while’” Damien says. “Hopefully we’ll figure something out but…”
“Is there a reason you didn’t talk about this with me?” I ask.
Damien looks uncomfortable. “You had access to the financials.”
“Well, sure,” I say. “But you’ve always told me when there’s something in them that I really needed to know. I guess I thought that you’d keep doing that.”
I realize that I sound like a child. I feel a little like a child too. Why shouldn’t I keep an eye on the finances of my own firm? I’m one of the three names outside, aren’t I?
Damien sighs. “Frankly, Finn, the reason we didn’t talk to you about it is because we didn’t think you’d want to hear about it. If we needed you to cut down on spending, we’d say something, but until then, we just didn’t think you’d be interested.”
That hurts to hear, especially because it’s true. That’s me, after all. The middle brother. The one who just kind of bumbles along while his brothers do all the work. The one who doesn’t even know when his own firm is in trouble.
Nothing like Emma. Nothing like the kind of person who’d fit into her life.
“I’m sorry I’ve acted that way in the past,” I say, finally. “In the future, I’d like it if you could keep me more in the loop on issues like this. Maybe I could find some way to help. Somehow.”
Damien gives me that nod he always gives when I do something he respects. “Alright, we will. I’ve seen you talking with the new paralegal we hired. Making sure she feels at home is pretty helpful in its own way.”
That surprises me. “Emma? What do you mean?”
“She’s someone with a top tier legal education and some real talent. If she’s happy here, it’ll make the whole firm look good. So make sure she stays happy.”
“That I can do,” I say, but the same moment I do, I notice her, standing by the bathroom. She disappears inside the same moment I see her, and I realize that she’s been listening to this whole conversation.
