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She freezes like a video on a locked up computer. When she thaws, she springs to her feet. Kind of like on that computer’s processor, stuff is running behind the scenes, stuff the user has no clue about, and the display is jerky as it tries to start moving again.
“No, John. I’m alone.” Fists balled, she yells it, almost as if willing it to be so, doubling down against any suggestion otherwise.
Yeah, I know that feeling, too. Alone is safe. Another thing her lost soul and mine have in common.
Lost soul? What the…censor, censor, censor…has come over me? Touchy-feely ain’t my game.
I look her in the eye. “You’re only alone if you choose to be.”
“You mean like you?” There’s bite to her words.
“Yeah, like me. I’ve made my choices—but maybe I’m rethinking some things.” It’s a new thought, at least on the conscious level. “Do you really want to bear it by yourself, Hollie?”
Tears sparkle and shimmer as she mangles her lip between her teeth.
I pat the cushion, asking with my eyes. Her glare loses heat. Keeping her distance, she sits, but I stretch my arm across the top of the cushion. After all, not flying solo was the sales pitch that got her here.
She knots her hands between her knees. “I can’t believe any of this is happening. The drugs, a baby.”
After Jacob’s dressing down, I know there’s more than that.
Though I wait quietly, she doesn’t go near the rest of her son’s litany. “He’ll rise to the occasion, Hollie. Like centuries of young men before him.” Hopefully.
“How am I going to support another child!” Terror radiates from teary blue pools.
I squeeze her shoulder. “This baby has a father for that. And a mother, and another set of grandparents. Everything isn’t on you.”
Her eyes widen as if the thought is new and not the least familiar. Hope flashes before her shoulders sag again. “Jacob is completely unprepared.”
Also true. “Like I said, he’ll come around. He loves the girl and he’s not running.”Yet.There’s been fear every time I’ve looked in his eyes.
I nudge Hollie into my side. Not only does she allow it, she curls into me. I pray she feels my support and commitment to her cause, whatever, whenever, it is.
She fits like a missing limb that’s been reattached. My eyes sink closed, warm and at home for the first time in a long time. Was it this way even in the beginning with Deann? Our relationship deteriorated precipitously, blotting out or outright corrupting the memory of any good times that may have existed.
A shadow of peace toys with me, except that Hollie’s distress hurts and drives me to make everything better. She has a problem? I’ll fix it, only tell me how.
She pulls away enough to look at me. The light from the uncovered windows airbrushes her skin, perfect without the added touch. Her lips are full and parted. I thumb away the trails left by her tears and touch her lip. The smallest shift could join our mouths…
I slip a soft tendril behind her ear.
What if I kissed away the droplet lingering in her lashes? Better or worse?
A two-way flicker of desire sparks in the gap—but not without a shadow of fear.
Worse.
I can’t make things worse for a sweet woman who only deservesbetter. I’m open for more with Hollie—but I won’t make the decision for her. My gut tells me the first move has to be hers.
The glow between us simmers…until decision reaches her eyes.
Hope deferred, I drop my hand to my thigh and smile. “Stay strong, Hollie. This isn’t the end of the world. Trust me, I’ve been there, and this isn’t it.”
“I’ve been there, too,” she whispers.
Fissures splinter across the surface of my heart, and waiting is torture as I hang onto the twisted hope she’ll say more.
But she sighs. “You’re right. This isn’t it.”
