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There's an invisible, painful jarred string pulling at my heart with every breath I take. My feelings are all over the map. I don't know what to think or how to deal with this. I don't get it.
Why would she leave me like that?
We had no time to talk everything through, surely, but I felt like we made some progress.
Was it only in my head?
Was I so eager to fuck her that I did not understand that she wasn’t on the same page as me?
"West End. You know where to go. Make it fast." I blurt to my driver, and then I look away, barely catching his "Yes, sir. Right away…"
I hear the door of my sleek, dark gray sedan close, and I lean my head on the cushioned backseat, huffing.
I can’t believe Lynn up and left like that!
One minute she was flushed, soft, and limp amid my crumpled sheets, exhausted but happy-looking, and the next, she was simply gone.
Walking out of my shower was a little like waking up all of a sudden to find out that the best day of my life was nothing but a dream.
At first, when I called her name and did not hear an answer, I thought she had just fallen asleep, then I discovered she was not in my bedroom, living room, or kitchen. She was nowhere to be found, and her clothes, which had spent the best part of two days strewn all over the floor in a trail that led to my bed, were gone.
Panic immediately settled in, just like it did when I was awakened by her tears the day before to find that the situation had unexpectedly overwhelmed her.
I frantically put my iPhone to charge, turning it on immediately, and then I tried to call her to no avail.
After God knows how long, that stupid text chimed on the screen.
I tried again to call her, but she must have switched her phone off immediately after texting me, or maybe her battery died. I picked myself up from the floor where I was sitting, still wet from my shower and naked, dried up as best as I could, and got dressed before storming out of my place.
I know it's unreasonable, and maybe I'm going to mess things up even more between us, but I can't give her time, at least not without knowing why she left like that.
I need to see her and hold her, and it has to be now.
I close my eyes and take a long breath.
I’ll fix this.
I'll make her see that whatever she needs to understand, she doesn't have to do it alone.
It's not so long after that the car stops in front of her building. Rationally, I know I should be giving my driver a big fat bonus for how fast he brought us here, but the less than twenty-minute drive felt like hours to me. Every moment away from her was nothing but pure torture.
I step out and look around.
It’s a tidy and neat-looking neighborhood, but I don’t like the look of it. I can’t think of her alone in here. It doesn’t feel safe.
Then again, not even a medieval castle with a moat and a ten-foot-tall, barbed fence around it would be safe enough, not if I'm not in there with Lynn.
I stride inside without a second glance at the doorman. If he is wise, he won't even think of approaching me right now.
I reach her door, and I knock on it decidedly. A moment later, it opens, but the chain is still latched; Lynn's lovely and very put-upon face appears in the slim crack.
“Dev…” she sighs, “Wait a sec.”
“Janie… Sook,” she murmurs. “I’m going to have to call you back.”
I roll my eyes, feeling mildly exasperated. She won't answer my calls, but, of course, she has to be on the phone with her best friend and my baby sister right away, probably to talk things through.
Like she could not have done the very same thing with me and spared us both the consternation.
