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“I know, but why?”
“It’s not the same. It’s all wrong now.”
Something wet rolled down my cheek to my nose. Was I crying again? What was happening to me? I didn’t cry like this.
A thought occurred to me that had me clutching the front of Dexen’s white button-down. “Please don’t fire me. I need the money. I have to take care of my sister.”
Instead of trying to get me to release him, he smoothed his hand over mine, coaxing me to let him go. “I’m not going to fire you. Tell me why it’s not the same. I can already guess, but I want to hear it.”
“He knows,” I whispered. “Who else does? Who’s in the crowd who knows the real me? Will they tell Perry? What will he think of me? And Pey, does he hate me now? I came on him, Dex. Literally. All over his chest. He figured out it was me at work yesterday. I couldn’t tell him the truth. I didn’t know what to do.” I kept rambling, words tumbling from my mouth on their own accord.
“Hey, hey, it’s all right,” he soothed. “Did Peyton say anything about it?”
“No, but he was stunned. It was the damn vanilla scent I wear. He put the pieces together. I watched it happen. He’s so smart. I should’ve known better. I should’ve told him it was me in the room before I climbed onto his lap and tried to ride him into the sunset.”
He patted my hand and tucked it back to my side. “I’m going to fix this.”
“You are?”
“Yeah, I am.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and started typing.
“No!” I lunged, knocking the device from his fingers so it tumbled to the plush dark mocha carpet. “You can’t tell Perry.”
“I’m not,” he replied more calmly than he looked. I was waiting for him to lash out at me. Luckily, he didn’t. “I’m telling Pey he has to fix this.” At least Peyton was better than Perry.
“How? I’m a wreck. He can’t put me back together.”
Dexen leaned over to get his phone. “You’d be surprised,” he muttered.
My heart, body, and mind warred with each other. Seeing Peyton again outside of work put a level of fear in me I didn’t expect. What if he started yelling at me, calling me an asshole for not revealing who I was? What if he never wanted to speak to me again? That couldn’t happen, not after the way it felt to be held by him. To be the object of his desire like Perry had been for so long.
The seat beside my head dipped. Dexen’s fingers found their way to my hair as I moved closer to rest my head on his thigh. There was nothing sexual about it, just a need for comfort. I was scared about what would happen next but knew Dexen would be there if I needed him. A friend in the storm that raged within me.
He continued to work the product out of my hair, using his fingers to soften it. “I’m sorry,” he said sadly. “If I’d known this would have happened, I wouldn’t have put you two together like I did. I wanted you to feel something more than I do. No one should live with a hole inside them. And Peyton, he needs healing too. Both of you worship the ground Junior walks on. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good man, but to deserve your attention like that, when it’s not reciprocated, it’s hard to witness.”
His words sank their claws into me. Everything he said was true. I thought I did a better job of hiding myself and how I felt about Perry. Apparently not. Hopefully I did when I was in front of him.
“So, you became a matchmaker?” I asked. “Putting Pey and me in a room to see if the mating took?”
He chuckled. “I thought you two could find something in each other you didn’t find where you were always looking.”
“Don’t start a new business. The result of your venture is shit.” I toyed with my bow tie where it rested on the couch in front of me. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did the other night or tonight. It wasn’t professional of me.”
“Professional doesn’t matter when it comes to family.”
Turning to my back, I peered up at him. “You consider me family?”
“I have from the start. Something about you made me bring you into the fold, want to keep you here where I could make sure you were taken care of and safe.”
“I’m a big boy, Dex.”
His eyes raked down my body, reminding me I was bare from the waist up. At least my lower half was covered. I brought my fingers over my nipples in a shitty attempt at modesty. Dexen had seen me in less than this, yet this was more intimate with my head on his lap.
“I’m kidding,” Dexen teased, ruffling my hair.
I flicked his stomach and went back to my side to resume my position.
There was a light knock on the door.
