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“I know. I’m sorry you’re in this position.”
That got his eyes back on me. “This position?” He put his hands on my desk and leaned close, keeping his voice low. “This isn’t aposition. What I want with you, with Peyton, that’s a desire. A wish. A dream. I won’t put everything else on hold to attain it though. And I won’t force you into a relationship you don’t want.”
I opened my mouth then closed it, not sure what to say. I was so confused, so jumbled up inside my head. Him leaving gutted me. Taking the leap to a relationship with him and Peyton, to commit to more than a fling, was daunting. It would mean carving out part of my life to fit them into it. Not in the way they both were, but as more. I barely had time to take a piss, let alone to form a deep bond with anyone.
When I didn’t respond, Dominic turned and left, shutting the door behind him, effectively cutting me off from him, from them.
God, why did it feel like I was being torn in two? Dominic didn’t do this because he was pissed and wanted to see me hurt. He was trying to be true to himself and save his heart from pain. Peyton was as steadfast as always. If I didn’t want them, he’d still be there for me. Could I watch them be together though? See them hold hands, kiss, spend time with one another when I knew intimately what being with them felt like?
I had to decide. Not today, but soon, before I lost them both.
17
DOMINIC
It had been a week since I gave Perry my notice. I should have told Dexen I wanted to work for him full time, but I hadn’t yet. I gave myself the week to let what I’d done sink in. To wonder if I was making a huge mistake. It felt right when I did it. My reasons were sound. Pulling away from Perry was the hardest part. At least I knew I’d see Peyton when he wasn’t working or with Perry. We hadn’t discussed what we wanted, but we both knew it was something bigger than friends who fucked.
Work had been weird to say the least. Perry barely made eye contact with me. He was snapping more than normal, his temper hardly contained. It got worse each day. Peyton tried to give me comforting smiles across the aisle. They didn’t do anything to soothe the turmoil inside me.
Perry was dealing with a lot with JJ, and I added to it. I could have waited. Could have done things differently. If I did, I might not have made the leap to resign.
I’d put things in motion. Now I had to see it through.
Saturday night had one of the biggest crowds of the week at the club. People were off from work, looking to relax and have a good time. I parked my car and went inside to Dexen’s office first. I had to talk to him before I did anything else tonight. It was why I showed up a half hour early.
One of the guards stood outside his office. I asked if I could speak with Dexen. The guard went in and when he came back out, he left the door open so I could enter. The door shut behind me, sealing me in the room which I knew no one could hear anything outside of.
“Dom, how are you?” Dexen greeted. He wore his standard button-down with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. It was powder blue tonight and he had navy slacks on. He came over to the couch, inviting me to sit with him.
“I’m good. Listen, I did something last week that changes things here and I want to talk to you about it.”
He groaned and dropped his head back. “You’re quitting, aren’t you? I’m never going to find anyone to replace you. I knew Junior would sink his claws in deep after you three were in the VIP room.”
“That’s not it. I mean, we were together but that’s not what I was going to say. I gave Perry my notice. I want to work here full time, whatever nights you want to give me. I’d like to do some early evening shifts too, so every late night of mine isn’t taken.” That got his attention again.
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
I nodded. “It’s why I spent the last week thinking about it before I brought it up to you.” I could have gotten a different job as an executive assistant. It felt wrong though. If I wasn’t going to do that for Perry, I wasn’t doing it for anyone.
Dexen pumped both fists into the air. “Yes! I’d kiss you if I knew Pey and Junior wouldn’t kick my ass.”
“Pey would. I’m not sure about Perry.”
“Trouble in paradise?”
“If by paradise you mean Perry not knowing what he wants and me trying to preserve what I have left of my heart.”
“I’m sure it’s a lot for him. He puts his business above everything else. He won’t change overnight. Plus, he’s straight. Or was. Whatever, he needs time to process.”
I toyed with the zipper on my coat for something to do. “I get it, but I can’t sit there and watch as he decides whether he wants to push me away, sleep with me, or go all in. I won’t be just a fuck for him.”
“What about Pey?”
“He’s been great. I see him at work and last night we had dinner, which was nice but a little awkward. Without Perry, it doesn’t feel the same.”
Dexen gave my hand a squeeze. “You’ll figure it out. In the meantime, I need to redo the schedule. Come on, let’s get it sorted.”
We went to his computer where the dancers were scheduled. The next week was set but the week after he could start working me in more. I was already on the occasional Tuesdays and Thursdays plus every Saturday night. Now I’d take the dinner crowds on Monday and Wednesday. Tuesday and Thursday evenings became permanent. Saturday stayed how it was. This gave me Fridays and Sundays off. Dexen said he could give me more slots if I wanted them.
