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“Not that it’s any of my business, but I’m guessing you had something going on with Dex and don’t anymore. That’s why you don’t want to go.”
I nodded, not sure I wanted to discuss this with JJ, who was obviously Dexen’s ex.
“Dex could have changed over the years, but I doubt it. He’s someone who’s used to getting his way and when he doesn’t, he feels like he’s lost all control. He needs that. Lives and breathes knowing he has everything the way he wants it. What he never realized is how fucking suffocating it is to others.”
“Not everyone.” I wasn’t looking for a guy to tell me what to do day in and day out; however, I loved those moments with Dexen when I could be someone other than the strong, tough guy. When I could let go and have someone else take care of me. I didn’t need a man to rule my life. If they could make me forget everything else and focus on pleasure, I was there for it.
JJ shook his head. “Dex doesn’t know when to stop though. There’s no line in the sand he won’t cross.”
“It doesn’t matter. He cut me off.” I shrugged like it was no big deal, when in reality, it hurt like a bitch.
“The invitation stands if you want to come over. Doesn’t have to be tonight. If I’m not here, I’m at the shop or at home.”
“You don’t go out?” I couldn’t picture JJ as a homebody.
“I’m happier when I’m home.”
“You’re always welcome at my place.” What was I doing inviting JJ over? It wasn’t just my house. There were four of us living at the fortress. No, I didn’t name it. Perry did once he saw the extent his father went to so Perry was protected. The fortress was solid with not only an advanced security system in place, but we had plans on top of plans in case something happened. Which it hadn’t. At least not yet. I hoped it never did.
JJ chuckled. “Hanging out with you, sure. Hanging out with my cousin and his men, not my idea of a good time.”
“It’s not like they fuck out in the open. Full disclosure, Dom does walk around in barely any clothes when it’s warm inside or out.”
“He’s not bad looking but not my type.”
“No?”
Leaning forward, JJ put his elbows on his knees, his eyes held mine. They were such a rich, deep blue, it was mesmerizing. “I like my men solid. I don’t want to worry about breaking them when I’m fucking them.” Fuck. Did it suddenly get hot in here?
The tennis ball stilled in my hand. I couldn’t take my eyes off his. “You’re a top then.” I shouldn’t have said it. JJ’s sexual preferences weren’t my business, yet I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. Which meant Dexen let JJ fuck him. He didn’t give me that opportunity. When I was with Dexen, it was always him pounding me.
He hummed. “You?”
“I can go either way, but I prefer to bottom.” Most men saw me and thought the opposite. I wasn’t a small guy. Six foot five with broad shoulders and large muscles. I worked out religiously. I still knew all the fight moves Dexen’s brother, X, taught me. When I went to a bar or a club, everyone assumed I was a top. The presumption pissed me off. Not every beefy dude wanted to do the fucking.
“We could have fun together, the two of us.”
“Are you propositioning me, JJ? We work together.” We don’t work for each other and we both owned stakes in the company. It wasn’t like one of us was after what the other had. It would be a mutual scratching of an itch, or so I was trying to convince myself.
“So do Peyton and Perry.”
“They’re different. You and I work closely on projects.” Why was I even talking about this? JJ was hot, but this had bad idea written all over it.
He shrugged. “We separate work from pleasure.”
JJ had come a long way from the surly asshole who showed up at PJS to sign a contract. Time changed things. JJ had come into his own here, found where he fit, and was making a difference. I doubted he changed completely. Going through all he had didn’t suddenly disappear with no scars left behind.
I shook my head. “This is insane.”
“It’s not. Just think about it.” He put his tablet on my desk with a schematic on it. “Now, about this system…”
3
DEXEN
Thirty years ago, my brother had just graduated high school. After he got his diploma and the ceremony was over, he stood for pictures with Sasha on his arm. She was his girlfriend, the only woman he had eyes for. They started dating sophomore year and fell quickly and madly in love. It was the kind of love where anyone could look at them and see how much they meant to one another. Not a high school crush. It was a deep connection.
That night, there was a party. All the new graduates went to a big field one of their families’ owned and had a bonfire. They drank, were rowdy. But that wasn’t Xaiden. He went because Sasha wanted to go. They had fun, her more than him. Xaiden didn’t consume a single drop of alcohol. Sasha saw how much he wanted to leave so they did just that.
