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Because the tub looks so tempting (especially because he’s in it), I slide in across from him.
A giant wave soars across the water, and I grab Dino in the nick of time before it slams his back into the porcelain.
Dino grins. "Thank you, Daddy."
I cop a feel of his shaft, making him moan. "No, no cummies in Daddy’s tub. This is a sacred place, one that shall remain only for playing, not pleasure."
Dino trembles and shakes as he grips a rubber ducky. "I-If you say so."
I select two duckies, then place them in the sudsy water beside Dino’s right hand.
I make zoomy noises, healthybzzzzzzzthhhs andvrrrrrooooms as I make the ducks paddle around Dino.
Small waves splash against his tummy, and Dino smacks his hands in the water, sending even more droplets spraying into the air.
A patch of bubbles bursts onto his forehead, and Dino shakes it off, the sight causing my heart to swell.
I hand Dino the beluga whale. "What sound does the whale make?"
"Quack."
"No, pretty boy. It goes:Neeeeeigh."
Dino glares at me. "No, it doesn’t. Don't be silly."
"Then, you tell me what sound it makes."
"I actually don’t know. We need to ask Siri."
I clear my throat. "Hey, Siri. Tell us what sound a whale makes."
Siri snaps her invisible fingers and adopts the sassiest tone I’ve ever heard. "Boy, you better address me as ma’am. Rude."
Dino tries next. "Dear Siri ma’am, we’d be most grateful if you informed us as to the timbre of the acoustic emissions made by a beluga whale."
"I’m not sure what the hell you said, boy," Siri says, "but a whale goes weeeeeoooeeeoo."
Siri’s whale sounds are lacking.
I smile. "Thank you, Siri."
"I don't get paid enough for this." Siri is grumpy today.
Dino’s voice drops a notch. "Why doesn’t your Siri sound like other Siris I’ve heard?"
"I have her set to sassy DMV receptionist who doesn’t have time for my shit."
"Any particular reason… or?"
"Nah. She brightens my day."
Dino picks up the beluga whale. "Hi, Mr. Whale. You’re in luck, there are duckies in your part of the ocean today. You get to meet new friends."
My heart swells as I watch Dino lose himself in play. My, oh my. Two weeks ago, I never would’ve thought that Dino harbored such a sensitive side. I sensed he was sweet underneath his bratty exterior, but this surpasses my expectations.
I slide another ducky toward Dino. "This one wants to meet Mr. Whale."
"Actually, it’s Mrs.," Dino teases. "I decided she was a Mrs. three seconds ago."
