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This is all on Carter’s terms. He can do whatever he wants to me and what matters the most is that he’s pleased. My nerves turn into mush when he hesitates and I wonder if I’ve already offended him. The smile on my face dies and I have a feeling my eyes have turned pleading. A muscle ticks in his jaw and then he abruptly brushes past me. I get a whiff of his masculine cologne and suddenly I get the craziest urge to jump him and bury my face into his neck.
Heat cover my cheeks and I figure it’s his pheromones, because I have never come across a man whose skin I was dying to lick. Carter stops in the middle of the room and he’s dressed in dark denims, and a grey sweater. The sleeves are rolled up, showing off the tattoos on his underarms but he doesn’t have too many of them. Good. I’ve never really liked graffiti on a guy.
“You should probably close the door,” Carter rasps and I nod.
I should close it, so that we can be alone. We’re going to take our clothes off and fall into bed, which means I can’t have the neighbors watching. Wouldn’t want to traumatize them.Carter Spencer is an animal.The words cut through my mind and I take a deep breath. I’m supposed to cater to him, no matter what he is.
Raising my hand, I shut the door.
Two
Carter
She’s stunning up close, and suddenly I don’t regret doing this. I stood outside her door for five minutes, wondering if I should do this but now I’m happy I did. A dress coils around her athletic shape and bright strawberry hair frames her face. It’s a little tangled in the back, fairy knots I think they call it and it makes her look like a freedom lover.
I’ve only seen her from afar, never even been close enough to notice she has a tiny nose piercing or that the color of her eyes is dark.
The one time I saw her, she was standing out in the field while it poured from the sky. She was training the Blackwater canines, shouting and gesturing with her hands while dressed in merely a t-shirt and shorts. Her t-shirt was soaked and she must’ve been freezing but she didn’t let it show, her gritty expression never fading. Something stirred in me at the sight of her but I pushed it down, and walked away.
I had a job abroad and stayed there for six months. When I came back, I told my bosses at Blackwater that I was done with the contracts and wanted out. They threw a hissy fit. I’m one of the best ones they have and they offered to raise my salary, offered vacation but I declined. Until they in one last desperate attempt, offered me Jean.
It’s the oldest trick in the book. Get a man under control by giving him a woman.
Naturally, it worked.
I don’t know why she volunteered to do this but I’m not going to ask, since this is a discretion is advised situation. I haven’t even told my partner Ronan about this, but it’s not uncommon for Blackwater to offer up women to high-ranking soldiers. We work a lot which makes relationships difficult and many choose to leave because of it. Some would probably think their methods are immoral but I don’t have a problem with it as long as she’s willing.
When she first opened the door, she seemed hesitant but I know my demeanor can be startling and she seems calmer now. The nervousness in her eyes is easing, her shoulders have relaxed and now I just want to spend the night staring at her. A polite smile crosses her face and she brushes past me, allowing me to inhale her and I nearly topple.
“Can I get you anything to drink?” she asks casually, stroking a hand down her arm and now I want to touch her.
If I can drink it off her soft skin, then sure.
“No, thank you.”
I’m trying to be civil, because I want her to be comfortable. Romance isn’t my thing- acting schmaltzy, whispering sweet nothings-I don’t get it, but that doesn’t mean I have to behave like an animal around her. She deserves the better version of me and this isn’t exactly a normal situation.
Jean fidgets when she notices, I keep ogling her and I force myself to look away but my eyes immediately land on her bed in the adjoining room. That’s where we’ll end up before the night is over, if everything goes according to plan, but I don’t want to pounce on her. A couple of day ago, I was in the field and I still feel raw. If I unleash all that on her, she might decide I’m too much to handle and abort the whole thing.
“Can I get you anything else?” she breathes. “How about I put on some music...?”
Music would be a distraction and distractions are annoying right now. Anything that takes my focus away from her grates on me, and my chest heaves when I decide to make my first move. She watches me with wide eyes as I approach her. Her lips press together and she backs a little, until she has backed all the way up against the wall. I frown, rubbing the stubble on my face and realize I forgot to shave.
The frown turns into a glare and I say, “Do you want to do this?”
Her face pales and she hurries to nod. “Of course,” she blurts, even if her body language says otherwise. “I wouldn’t have agreed if I didn’t.”
“Just checking.” I cross my arms over my chest and her eyes flutter over my muscles. They don’t linger as if she’s too embarrassed to stare but I don’t share the same shame. Especially not, when it comes to this girl. She’s just my type, spicy enough to get the blood running and innocent enough to stop me from misbehaving.
Leaning against a doorway, I jerk my head at her. “Turn around for me. I want to have a good look at what I’ve been offered.”
“No small talk?” she laughs nervously then gulps when I scowl. Dragging a hand through her air, she regards me as if I’m someone she shouldn’t turn her back to. She thinks it’s dangerous to let her guard down around me. And she’s not wrong but I’m not here as a mercenary.
“Your wish is my command,” she then breathes and the saying rubs me the wrong way for some reason.
I don’t analyze it too much because she has begun twirling, and I admire her tight waist, her strong hips and now I want a taste so bad that my mouth waters. If we were in a battlefield, she’d be my bounty. My chest compresses at the thought of us, alone in a tent in the middle of nowhere, fucking each other’s brains out until I feel all squeaky clean on the inside.
I’ve always wondered what it feels like to be that clean.
