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“Carter, I feel...,” Jean takes a deep, dramatic breath, “happyyy...”
No doubt, she feels happy. She’s had three beers in a row and is now on her fourth. Obviously she’s a lightweight, because she’s leaning against my arm all on her own. I didn’t even have to coerce her and she looks up at me, relaxed and carefree.
“I like your eyes,” she blurts, “they’re like an Australian Shepard’s.” Her head rolls around. “But your attitude is more of a Dobermann/Rottweiler mix ...”
Alright, someone’s had enough and I peel the bottle away from her hands. “Let’s get you home,” I mutter.
She vaguely protests that she loves this song, then proceeds to sing one with completely different lyrics than the one playing. I chuckle, clasping her upper arm, leading her through the crowd and leave for the exit. The cold night air will do her good and Jean stops for a moment, taking a deep breath before clutching her head.
“Whoa, I think I went a little overboard in there,” she mutters and her cheeks are red, matching her hair and I can’t get over what a looker she is even in this state.
“You’ll sleep it off and the walk will do you good. Unless you want me to call an Uber?”
She shakes her head, clasping my arm and I fill with a sense of purpose, importance. I’m proud to have her by my side as we make our way down the street. This night didn’t go as I expected but I don’t want to change anything. It was all worth it. People usually put up a wall with me, when they notice I do the same but not Jean. She seems to think I’m an okay guy because she wouldn’t hold on to me the way she does, if she didn’t.
Music from an open window drifts into the street and Jean drops me for a moment, twirling around and she lets out a laugh. I feel a tug in my heart, wanting her pressed up against me again. Luckily it starts pouring from the sky, as if the universe heard my wish. Jean’s eyes widen and she squeals as if she’s going to melt and I take off my jacket, turning it into an umbrella.
“Soldiers,” Jean softly snorts. “You always have everything covered.” She puts her arms across my torso, to ensure her shelter and this time, the warmth that spreads throughout my body is scorching.
She’s a catch. A man would be proud to come home to a girl like her. I frown at every pedestrian looking at her and realize I’m acting as if she’s mine but she’s not.
Jean is a bribe.
Lowering my face, I give her a kiss on the top of her head but it’s so light that she doesn’t notice, and her hand clutches a little harder around me. I don’t want to leave her, but I can’t order her to keep her part of the agreement now that she’s tipsy. We stop in front of her building, and I walk her all the way up to her apartment. She struggles with getting her key through the lock, poking it while squinting and the corners of my mouth twitch. I take the key and open up for her, holding the door and she turns to look at me in surprise.
“Aren’t you coming in?”
Inwardly, I groan. She’s tempting me until my testosterone almost explodes out of my body, when I’m trying to do the right thing here.
“I should let you go to sleep.” Clearing my throat, I add, “I’ll be here tomorrow night.”
Her face lowers and I want to take it as a sign of genuine disappointment. “Are you sure? You know, I’m yours. You’re allowed to do whatever you want...”
Growling low in my throat, I take a step closer to her and she lets out a gasp. Our clothes brush and I look down at her, wanting to touch her lips with mine, seal them and make sure they stay sealed. Flicking her nose, I murmur, “Night, squeak. Sleep tight.”
“Yes, sir...,” she breathes and I shudder.That girl.She makes me want more.
Five
Jean
I wasn’t sure Carter would be fine with me, accidentally getting drunk last night but he’s here again, sitting on my couch while looking good enough to eat. He’s dressed in all black this time, and his hair was still a little bit wet when he first entered my apartment, as if he had just taken a shower.
My lids flutter. I feel something for him but I don’t know what it is yet. I can’t be crushing because Carter doesn’t do crushes and that’s not what this is supposed to be anyway. Besides, they told me he was an animal.Wild. Free.A guy like him can’t be contained in a relationship.
Dragging a deep breath, I look away.Focus. A lot is at stake and I rub the back of my neck, trying to pay attention to the movie I put on. I’m not even sure why I did it, but seeing Carter again made me flustered and I had to distract him somehow. It didn’t work out because he’s not looking at the screen. He’s watching me from the corner of his eye and every now and then, he stretches his legs as if something is chafing.
Hm, I wonder what...
Wish, he would do it already.
I’m here, ready for the taking and my tummy clenches because there’s tension between us. We don’t talk about it but both can feel it. I’m surprised that he has so much self-control and it’s harder to dislike him because he’s not a caveman despite his looks. Seems that beneath that rough exterior, there’s someone capable of gentleness.
I wouldn’t mind having a guy like that take care of me.
He has strong hands, a strong mind and people respect him in a way that they don’t respect me. I’m just a girl over at Blackwater, surrounded by men that could crush me in their palms. It sounds strange but next to Carter, I feel a little bit tougher. He’s not scared of anyone and if Pace and Arkin had done to him what they did to me, he would’ve punched them in the face.
