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I’d never had to worry about that before, but I should have been prepared. No one knew better than I did how relentless my mother could be.
“I’m here,” I said tightly. “What do you want?”
“What do I want? How about an explanation for why it looks like I’m blocked from my usual phone? No rings, no text delivered, forweeks—this is how you treat your own mother?”
I gritted my teeth, my stomach twisting queasily. But I’d dealt with gangsters pointing guns straight at me—I’d taken a bullet that could have killed me. Mom didn’t have anything on the hell I’d faced in the last few months.
“Maybe I blocked you because of the way you’re talking to me right now,” I retorted. “I’m a grown man—I make my own decisions about my career and everything else in my life now. Including who I want to talk to.”
“Oh, and look what happens when you throw away my advice and motivation. You go off the rails with this crazy pairs stunt, disappear, get yourself injured and totally screw up your chances of competing on any level at all. You honestly think—”
I broke in before she could try to tell me how wrong I was. “I’ll be competing just fine next cycle. It’s only one year. No big deal.”
She sputtered a laugh. “The boy I raised would never have given up like that. What the fuck has happened to my tough competitor, huh? You’ve gone all soft without me to keep you in shape.”
“That’s not the problem,” I snapped. “If anything, you were dragging me down.”
“Oh, that’s rich. I’m the only reason you got anyplace at all. I kept at you and hauled you to all those practices and competitions, kept on your ass about performing right, and you were really getting somewhere. Now you’re going and throwing away everything we built.”
Anger seethed inside me, so potent I wouldn’t have been surprised to find smoke pouring from my ears like some kiddy cartoon. “EverythingIbuilt. And the only thing I’m throwing away is you and your shitty attitude.”
“Don’t be so sure about that. I’ve got half a mind to fly out there to Tokyo and see if I can’t get you back on track. You won’t be hiding from me when I’m right there whipping you into shape.”
An instinctive flinch ran through my frame, but no real panic followed it. The chances that Mom could pull together the cash for a last-minute flight to Japan were next to none. She was bluffing, stewing in her own venom like she so often did.
“Feel free to test that theory,” I said. “I can ignore you just fine no matter where the fuck you are. It’ll be easier for you if you take a hint and leave me alone.”
I jabbed the End Call button before she had time to reply. With another few swipes and jabs, I’d blocked the new number too.
As I shoved my phone back into my jacket pocket, my stomach sank.Wouldshe catch a plane all the way out here, just to complicate my already hectic life even more? It didn’t seem possible, but I’d just underestimated her once.
God fucking damn it.
I stood there in the hall for several minutes, breathing deeply as if I could flush my mother’s toxic influence from my head alongside the air from my lungs. It didn’t totally work, but I started to get worried that the others would wonder what had happened to me.
Putting on my best disaffected expression, I walked back into the rink area and made my way to my equipment bag. When I looked over at the rink, Jasper and Lou were just launching into one of my favorite sequences in the routine—the newest lift that flowed right into a triple Axel throw jump.
Jasper spun Lou around with ease, not showing the slightest strain in the bulging muscles that I had to admit were more impressive than my own, and launched her into the air. She whirled in flight like the angel Niko always said she was and landed with perfect grace.
The talent that emanated off them sent a flutter through my chest—followed by a painful pang. They’d get to show that talent off in front of the whole world next month. And me… I’d be stuck on the sidelines.
What if Mom wasn’t totally wrong? How much of what I’d worked so hard forhadI thrown away to be here with this woman?
The hours upon hours of practice, all of the sacrifices I’d made from every other part of my life—would it turn out to have all been for nothing in the end?
How could I honestly say to anyone that I knew that it wouldn’t?
ELEVEN
Luciana
“I can’t believeI’m saying this,” Jasper said, around a mouthful of linguine, “but I think Japanese Italian food is better than the regular version.”
Niko chuckled triumphantly, the sound pealing through the bright restaurant we’d stopped in for dinner. “I will eventually win you over to all things Japanese.”
Jasper arched an eyebrow at our coach and poked toward him with his fork. “Don’t say it.”
“Even Calpis!” Niko declared.
