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I swallowed hard. “He does. At least, he has my entire life, up until the last time I spoke to him a couple of years ago.”
If my nerves had been jittering before, now they were doing jumping jacks all through my gut. As much as I appreciated Mom’s gesture, even if I didn’t totally understand what it meant, I kind of wished she hadn’t told me until after our routine.
What if I screwed up in front of them? In front of Dad? That’d just be proving him right, wouldn’t it? He’d feel justified in assuming my skating had always been a waste of time.
Lou squeezed my forearm. “Hey. Don’t let it get to you. We’ll still go out there and skate our best. What he thinks didn’t matter before and it doesn’t matter now.”
I dragged in a breath, trying to absorb her certainty. Fighting against the sensation of Dad’s judgment pressing down on me.
He was probably sneering mentally right now as he took in my shimmery costume and—
A hand clapped firmly against my shoulder from behind. I flinched and jerked around to see a middle-aged man I didn’t recognize.
He made a gesture of apology. “Didn’t mean to startle you, Jasper. I’m Jim Gunner with Skate Canada. Mostly I push paper, so we haven’t gotten a chance to talk before.”
Skate Canada was the official figure skating organization in my family’s home country. I scrambled to set my thoughts in order. “Oh. Hi! Good to meet you.”
Gunner laughed in a deep rumble that reminded me of dynamite. “No need to worry. I’m here to give my compliments. I wanted to tell you and your partner how much I enjoyed your trio skate with Quentin Wolf. It was beautiful work, especially considering that, from what I understand, you pulled it together very quickly.”
His smile shone on both me and Lou. Lou grinned in response, and I found myself doing the same. “Thank you. I’m so glad it made an impact.”
“Oh, it did that. I expect there’ll be talk about this year’s Worlds and your part in it for years to come. You’ve already left your mark no matter how you do today. If either of you ever decide you’d like to switch over to the Great White North, give us a call, you hear? That goes for Mr. Wolfe too!”
His praise washed over me, the warmth of his comments sweeping away the panic that’d gripped me moments before. “Thank you,” I said again, more emphatically. “That means a lot to me.”
“We’ll give it some thought,” Lou piped up, her grin widening. “And I hope you enjoy our routine today just as much.”
Gunner caught Niko’s eyes. “As much as I appreciate what you’re doing with your coaching, I hope I see you on the competitive circuit again someday soon too, Mr. Okabe. Now I’d better get to my seat!”
With that, he shuffled off. Lou watched him go and shook her head with a light chuckle. “He’s quite the character.”
“Yeah,” I said, my mind still reeling—but in a good way this time.
Maybe my career hadn’t gone quite the way I’d imagined, but I’d still come so far from my early days learning the basic jumps and spins. I’d won medals; I’d gained enough fans to earn a playful nickname. There was no world in which that made me a failure.
I got to decide what success meant to me. My dad didn’t get any say in it. Even if today was an epic flop, I’d still know I’d made it. I had so many chances to do even more ahead of me.
I’d climbed dozens of mountains to get this far. I’d struggled and fought and pushed with all my might to claw my way to this spot. Was I really going to let my asshole father pull me down now?
No way in hell.
With a renewed surge of confidence, I nudged Lou’s shoulder. “You know what? Who cares what the other pairs do? I say we go for the new transition either way.”
Lou’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? We’re not exactly solid with it yet. You seemed pretty iffy about incorporating it at the last practice.”
“I know, I know. But listen. If we can pull it off, then that’s it—we’re almost guaranteed a medal, if not the gold. And if we fumble it… Isn’t it better to fail at something incredible than to have our routine be flawless but uninspiring? If it doesn’t happen this time, then we have another whole year to practice.” My lips pulled into another grin. “So what do you say? You want to give it a shot, Punk?”
Lou laughed and took my hand, squeezing it hard. “More than anything in the world.”
And just like that, it was all okay. No matter what happened now, I knew we were going to survive it. Whether Dad watched me fly or watched me fall, I wouldn’t be shaken by him.
Not now, and not ever again.
TWENTY-SEVEN
Luciana
I thoughtI’d put on a good face with Jasper, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.
