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“Logan? Logan, are you okay?”
He wanted to scream because Sammy seeing him like this would be so humiliating. However, when the other man burst through his bedroom door a moment later and ran to his bedside, Logan couldn’t have been more grateful. Sammy didn’t waste any time panicking. He went through his nightstand drawers and found his inhaler. Then he scooped Logan up and gently adjusted the inhaler to his lips and pumped a few times before Logan started breathing on his own again.
“There you go, you’re doing so good, Logan.” Sammy muttered softly after a few minutes when Logan had begun taking steady breaths. Logan was propped up leaning on Sammy’s chest, with his back to him, and Sammy was holding him lightly.
It took almost an hour before he was able to speak, and when he did, his voice was raw, but he was able to mutter, “Thank you.”
“Nothing to thank me for. I’m just glad you’re okay, Logan.”
They stayed like that, half-slumped on the bed, Sammy holding Logan then rocking him gently to sleep, with Morpheus nuzzling his hand and licking his palm. Sammy had chased his nightmares away and Logan held on to him tight.
When the morning light crept into the bedroom, the two men were sleeping side by side, Logan resting his head on Sammy’s chest. Sammy’s arm was over his shoulders, still holding him close. When Logan woke up, he did so with a clear head for the first time in a long while. He wanted to be closer to this man and to hold on to him for as long as he would allow it.
He tightened his embrace and then was startled when Sammy dipped his head to kiss his forehead, then dragged his fingers over his back in slow soothing motions. He didn’t say anything, so Logan just let himself enjoy this profound feeling of intimacy he thought he had lost forever.
He closed his eyes and tipped his face up, grazing Sammy’s throat with the tip of his nose. He thought he could feel the other man stiffen, but then his arms continued moving over his back and he went on doing what felt so natural to him in this moment. He let his lips brush just beneath Sammy’s chin. His skin was soft, and he couldn’t help but press himself closer and kiss the curve of his jawline, letting his lips linger for a moment longer than the time before.
Sammy exhaled, like he had been holding his breath this whole time and he met Logan’s lips in a gentle, featherlight kiss.
His lips were soft and warm, just as plush as Logan had imagined they would feel yet somehow better. Infinitely better. He let Sammy take the lead and followed his rhythm. Logan brushed his lips over Sammy’s mouth and the softness only made him want to taste Sammy more. His tongue darted lightly and licked his lips, and then Sammy parted them and let him taste him fully. Logan didn’t hold back anymore. Kissing the other man felt as necessary as breathing and he wasn’t at all surprised, when his body began yearning for more. Sammy kissing him back with equal need was intoxicating. The feeling of being wanted and enveloped in this beautiful daze with this wonderful person was almost too much to handle.
Morpheus started barking, and they were both reluctantly pulled out of the whirlwind sensation of clinging to each other. Sammy held on to him for another moment before his arms went slack and fell away. Then there were loud knocks on the door startling both of them. Logan blurted, “I better check who it is,” and practically ran out of the bedroom, leaving Sammy alone. By the time he reached the bottom of the stairs, he realized how fucking rude that was, but he resolved to tell who ever the fuck was at the door to fuck off and to go back to Sammy and apologize and kiss him some more. A lot more.
He flung the door open, and when he saw the police officer frowned in confusion.
“Hey there, Logan, sorry I didn’t call you earlier, but I was in the area and thought you might want me to come and collect your unwanted guest.”
It was that same guy that had spoken to Logan on the phone. Logan still had no idea who the fuck this guy was. He sure as shit didn’t remember him from school, so he made a mental note to ask Dave on Monday.
Before he could answer, Sammy hurried down the stairs and said over his shoulder, on his way to the bathroom, “I’ll be ready in just a minute, Officer.” Then he gathered his stuff quickly, dressed in the bathroom and was out on the veranda faster than Logan could get his shit together and try and stop him, or fucking say something. Anything.
Sammy never even looked back. Logan felt so gutted, standing there like a fool, watching the patrol car drive away, taking Sammy from him for good. Morpheus was by his side, comforting him in his way. It was no good. Logan still wanted to scream. To run after the car. To ask Sammy to stay for one more day. To give him a chance.
He couldn’t force a single step forward and soon the quiet of the cold winters’ morning enveloped him.
CHAPTERFOUR
Sammy
Logan running out of the bedroom without even looking back felt like a slap. Sammy wanted to kick himself for letting the moment take hold of him and lose himself in the sensation that being with Logan just felt right.
At first, he wanted to wait for Logan. He didn’t want to overreact and be too paranoid about his reaction. But then his eyes had wandered off to the photographs on the bedside table and suddenly he was sick to his stomach. There he was, Logan, holding a little girl and plastering a big kiss on the cheek of a lovely looking lady that was most likely his wife. Sammy wanted to scream. What the fuck had he gotten himself into? Was Logan’s wife visiting relatives somewhere? Why would Logan kiss Sammy in the bed he shared with his spouse? Why would he kiss him at all?
He jumped out of there like the sheets were burning, and when he heard the officer telling Logan he was there for him, he got dressed and packed, faster than he ever had in his life. He refused to acknowledge Logan in anyway. His heart was tearing, and he wanted to fucking cry so much, but he kept it together. He had let his guard down for the first time in years, and had stupidly believed he had actually felt something real and meaningful rising between them.
When he glanced in the side-view mirror and saw Logan still standing on his veranda, wearing just his pajama pants and Morpheus nuzzling his hand, he wanted to tell the police officer to stop the car. He wanted to run back and tell Logan to go back inside. That he forgave him. That the moment they had shared was beautiful to him, even if that’s all that it would ever be.
“How was your weekend with the freak?” He was startled at the mocking tone of the officer.
He shook his head in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
The guy rolled his eyes, and for a moment there, Sammy could see perhaps he was considering if he should be professional or get his gossip gab going. The latter won, and he said, “He was in a bad crash a few years ago, probably drunk or on drugs. His wife and kid were in the car too, but unfortunately, he was the only one that made it out alive. He’s been holed up here since, and last year he tried to kill himself. Fucking cry for help my ass, more like needing the attention to be on him all the time. Probably gets some fat government check and pretends he can’t work like the rest of us shmucks. And don’t get me started on that juicy settlement cheque he got from the truck company that was involved in the crash. All he does now is walk about the woods with that big-ass dog of his, pretending he can’t work or drive. Pathetic. People die all the time. Just get over it, dude. Right?” He chanced a look at Sammy, and perhaps he had misinterpreted his shocked expression for interest as he went on to say, “He’s so burned out, I fucked with him and told him, we went to school together, and the dumb ass believed me!” He laughed as if his despicable unprofessional behaviour was a simple harmless prank.
“Why would you do that? That’s not funny at all!” The guy gave him a critical look, clearly disappointed that Sammy didn’t appreciate his sense of humour. He shrugged his shoulders. Apparently, that was all the explanation he was willing to provide.
Sammy’s stomach dropped. He wanted to fucking scream and punch this guy in the face. He was so angry at himself for not asking Logan about the photographs first. For not waiting a goddamn minute for him to explain.
Before he knew it, they were back to his car, and the tow truck was there, pulling it out of the ditch. He had to drive to town and refuel his vehicle. He was then told if he wanted to avoid being stuck in the area, he should leave right away before the next snowstorm hit. He was so confused, he just hit the road, trying to convince himself he would be able to shrug it all off. That it wasn’t his business. That if anything, Logan should have been the one to say something.Maybe he would have, if you hadn’t been blabbering about yourself all night like a self-absorbed loser.
