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“Thanks.” James chuckled. “So, are you going to call her? Will you agree to meet Sarah?”
“Yeah, I guess. Having your parents by my side helped me so much. If this is the same situation, I simply must do the same for Michael.”
“Well then, my job here is done. Savior of baby gays and all that, at your service.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
He took a deep breath and texted his sister, as well as saving her number.
Me: I’m available all through next week. Let me know when and where.
Sarah: We can be there tomorrow. 12pm Morrissey’s.
Me: I’ll see you there.
Sarah: k
He stared at the texts for a while after wondering what he could say to this young boy. He reminisced about his own experience. Sammy almost chuckled when he thought to himself, that things had been different back then. Yes, it was true, but it also made him feel a hundred years old. There was still stigma, but these days, there was also some semblance of fear or repercussion. Not a lot, but having a big community helped him stand tall in moments when he felt the odds were heavily stacked against him.
Having the necessary moral and emotional support, first from James’s parents and then from finding other members of the LGBTQIA community and creating lasting friendships, had made a massive difference in his life. He didn’t imagine he could have ever stayed in the closet, but had he been completely isolated and emotionally unsupported, he may not have been as brave to dare to pursue his dreams and travel alone, without considering his sexuality an issue.
Perhaps he could be this person for Michael. He hoped to be able to show him he was happy in his profession and in a loving relationship. He was ready to offer his friendship and support.
He smiled to himself. It wasn’t hard to believe that he had finally met someone to fill his life with joy. What he struggled with was to fully accept he deserved to be happy and carefree. He deserved to plan for a bright feature with a special someone. Sarah contacting him out of the blue, definitely stirred his emotions, bringing up old feelings of inadequacy to the surface.
His eyes swept the desk, landing on Logan’s sketching pads, making him smile. He called Logan and made plans to meet him for lunch.
* * *
He was so freakingnervous on Saturday, he had to shower twice in the morning, because he felt nauseated and sweaty. Logan was trying to be his rock, but all his words of encouragement were flying over Sammy’s head. “Baby, it will be okay. You just have to be honest and kind and answer a bunch of juvenile questions.”
Sammy had glared at him. “What if I say the wrong thing?”
Logan gave him a look and calmly said, “Do you think if you said the wrong thing, Michael would become less gay?”
“No, of course not. I just––” He shrugged his shoulders feeling a bit lost.
“You’re worried more about Sarah?”
“Well, yeah. I haven’t heard from her in years. Years!” He closed his eyes, biting his lip, trying to calm down. After a beat, he went on, “I’ve never been able to talk to her like a normal person. She’s virtually perfect in every way. Now she has practically summoned me without much explanation. I feel like I’m having my fingers crossed instead of wearing a parachute after jumping off a cliff in the dark. I can’t help but get the impression that this whole situation is … wrong.”
Logan had to agree with him, and that made Sammy feel a little bit better. Saner. The contact had been unexpected and held little promise for reconciliation. If anything, it felt formal and distant. His lover reassured him again, “I’ll be by your side the whole time. If her intentions aren’t what you expected, we’ll get up and go. You don’t have to talk to her ever again.”
“Leaving Michael behind? I want to at least find a way to let him know he can reach out to me if he ever needs anything.”
Logan grabbed a few of his business cards from his bag. “Here, I’ll shove this in his hand while you distract your sister.”
Sammy rolled his eyes, but Logan had been trying hard to get him to relax and he appreciated his efforts. He finally bobbed his head in agreement, and they left for the restaurant soon after.
* * *
He recognizedSarah’s perfect porcelain face immediately. His sister looked immaculate in her black dress and black cardigan. Her long thick hair fell perfectly straight parted on the right side. The only color on her was the string of soft pink pearls around her neck and pink pearl studs on her small earlobes. She gave Sammy a tight smile and glanced at Logan with a wary expression.
“Hello, Samuel.” She stretched her hand out for a handshake.
