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Once he was done with his half-assed preparations, Sammy checked his outfit in the mirror. He was wearing his signature black skinny jeans, black hoodie under a black leather jacket, that was way too fashionable to be really warm.
He had his favorite Nike pink high-tops on, and he tied off the outfit with his fuzzy, oversized, over-the-shoulder pink bag. The bag had been his favourite ever since he figured out it could be a pillow and a snugly thing all in one, for when he travelled. And although the bright color often got him lots of raised eyebrows and curious looks in his direction, he loved it, nonetheless.
He checked the time and briefly considered leaving in the morning on the next day as he wouldn’t reach any of the locations he wanted to visit before nightfall. Sammy was yet to sort out his accommodation, but James would want his car back on time and he wasn’t going to waste precious hours thinking about where he would be sleeping. He could catch a shut eye in the car. It’s not like he hadn’t done it before.
His camera equipment was in a large heavy-duty case, and would be fully protected from the elements, no matter where he ended up crashing. It was equipped with little wheels and a pull handle, so he should be able to drag it with him once he got to his desired destination. Sammy was feeling pretty confident about his plans and frankly, quite lucky about how his day had gone down, as he carefully loaded everything into the back of the shiny new SUV and made his way out of the city with a big grin.
He loved going on adventures, and in his short, yet action-packed, in his opinion, twenty-five years of life, he had traveled quite a bit. He did the whole circuit of freelancer and travel blogger on a budget, then covered social media events and then even dabbled in some paparazzi shit. But nothing held his interest for too long, and as soon as whatever he was doing to earn money started to feel too much like a nine-to-five, he moved on to the next thing.
Life’s too short to be boring. YOLO, Live life to the fullest #blessed. These were the explanations he would rattle off to James or anyone who would question his erratic path in life. They all had a laugh and quickly dismissed him, as was his intention. No one really dug deeper.
He alone knew the truth. That he didn’t want to be what his parents had been – workaholics, desperately trying to claw their way out of middle class into…upper-middle class by saving and scraping every dime they had. All the conversations he remembered having with them, were about his grades, school, how he was going to improve his grades, and how he would study harder so he would either become a doctor or at least a pharmaceutical scientist like his sister.
The irony of it all, was that Sammy had indeed wanted to become a doctor. But the moment he came out to his parents, their barely there relationship had completely disintegrated.
His strict Japanese parents were definitely not on board. They had demanded he not only shimmy back into the closet, but never speak of his sexuality again. Sammy had packed his shit, emancipated himself from them with the help of James’s parents and had gone to live with his best friend for the last year of high school. James’s parents were nothing short of life saviors. They had welcomed him into their home, without so much as batting an eyelash and had done their best to show up for him in every way that mattered. They still did, years later, when Sammy tried to convince himself, he didn’t need them to.
His own sister had turned her back on him. Sarah was ten years older than he was. She had just gotten married to a very successful corporate lawyer. However, she was still under the scrutiny of their parents as her husband was older and this was his second marriage. He had children from the previous relationship as well, so a less than favorable candidate, as his parents never failed to mention.
When Sammy had reached out to her, he had been met with silence. Sarah didn't even have the courtesy to turn him down. She simply said nothing.She didn’t answer his calls or texts. She made no effort to at least make up some ridiculous excuse. She simply shut him down, like he was nothing to her. Like they hadn’t both suffered the same treatment from their parents.
To say he was hurt by her ruthless rejection would be the understatement of a lifetime. He felt so worthless and unwanted, so absolutely alone and isolated he hadn’t even considered asking anyone else for help. The way his family had cut him off made him think that he simply wasn’t worth helping.
James had stepped up in a big way and had taken him in with little to no discussion with his parents. It wasn't necessary at all. They knew what was happening all too well and never made him feel like a guest, or like he had to hurriedly plan his next move in life.
Perhaps Sammy and his family could have reconciled one day. Perhaps, once his parents had grown older and had slowed down in their pursuit of professional accomplishments, they would have regretted the way they had treated Sammy. They may have even felt remorseful, that they didn’t reach out to him in any way while he was living in the home of another family, that cared for his seventeen-year-old ass. Perhaps his sister would talk to him again and be honest with him about why she had shut him out so abruptly.
He never got to find out, as his parents died in a boating accident on the Fourth of July, right after he had graduated from high school. They had removed his name from their will already, but his sister was gracious enough to give him money to pay for his college tuition. After that, it appeared Sarah had considered her obligation to Sammy completed. His sister never reached out to him again.
Sammy wished he could say he missed her, but their parents had done a perfect job pitting them against each other their entire lives. He didn’t resent her anymore, but there was no love between them either. They were as good as strangers, and for all Sammy could imagine, his life was completely alien to his sister.
He hit the tunnel on his way out of the city. He felt giddy with excitement to be able to do some real work on this project, that thus far was coming along quite nicely. He grinned in the rearview mirror, smugly happy. He had been right to follow his gut feeling about his dream.
* * *
By the timeSammy realized he was nowhere near Keuka Lake and had completely missed a turn somewhere along the way, he was terribly lost. His navigation system was telling him he was a dot in the green field of nothing and then his reception became spotty. He missed another turn, then panicked and turned at the first right turn sign he saw, and God knows why he didn’t just turn back around and kept on driving on the highway.
When it began snowing, he didn’t really panic, instead getting distracted by looking at the snow slowly covering the dark, gloomy forest on both sides of the road. His phone although perfectly charged, was completely useless at the moment, idly sitting in its cradle mocking him with its zero bars. Sammy huffed and blew a wavy strand of hair away from his forehead. It was going to be dark soon. He didn’t want to panic just yet, but he had been driving for hours, his tank becoming low on fuel and with no reception, he wasn’t sure if he should just push through or waste time going back.
He drove for another hour in the now thick darkness and was finally starting to get irritated. Sure, he could have called James for help earlier, when he still had reception, but the thought of his friend making a meal out of his fuckup, had stopped him from asking for assistance. It was too late now, and he refused to regret his petty defiance.
Nope. He could do this all by his fucking self, thank you very much!
The unruly strand of hair slipped down his forehead once again. He huffed a few times, but it was tangled with his lashes and wouldn’t budge. He fixed it with his hand and somewhat absentmindedly pulled the mirror lower so he could look at himself and tuck it back with a bobby pin, he pulled out of his pocket. He saw the road was curving into a gentle turn too late, and although he wasn’t driving all that fast, by the time he hit the brakes, the car struggled to slow down. It skidded slowly to an uneventful stop, dipping into the deep ditch, nose buried in the muddy ground.
Sammy’s heart was pounding. He was alright, but the car was at a weird angle and when he chanced a look through the back window, he could see the back tires didn’t even touch the pavement, meaning he would have one hell of a time trying to get the car out of the ditch.
“Fuck!” he hissed, but that just seemed like an understatement, so he added two morefucksto even things out.
He made one futile attempt at hitting the gas hard, only to realize too late he was causing the vehicle sink further into the mud and that wasn’t going to help him one bit. He would have to leave the SUV and seek help. He stared at his pink Nike high-tops. They would be completely ruined and since they were also his favorite winter shoes, he would have to wear his muddy shame for the next few months until he could revert to his black converse.
“It’s fine. I can do this,” he muttered to himself as he carefully slipped out of the passenger seat. Unfortunately, all his plans about taking slow and steady steps through the wet ground until he reached the road were dashed when the wind got some branches near him to rustle. He panicked, let go of the door, slipped, and fell into the ditch. He landed on his back near the front tire and for a long moment just lay there stunned. When he started feeling the cold slush of mud and snow soaking through his light jacket, he began freaking out and like an idiot started calling for help. His head was throbbing, and he was sure he had hit something on his way down.
Sammy tried to pull himself out but slipped a few times before he gained some control and was able to grab the grill of the SUV to steady himself. Just as he was half solid on his feet, a giant beast came out of nowhere and growled at him, startling him, and effectively knocking him back on his ass in the mud. His breath hitched, and if he had to be honest in his retelling of this story in the future, he would admit to almost pissing himself in fear. At first, he thought the large animal was a wolf, but as Sammy moved past the glare of his headlights, he could see it was some breed of large dog. It wasn’t barking anymore. It was wagging its tail and whining loudly.
“Hey, buddy,” Sammy chanced. The giant dog wagged its tail more excitedly, looking a lot friendlier. It took a tiny step forward, but then it pulled back, whining. Then it took off. Soon, Sammy could hear another voice and the dog barking.
“I can’t believe I’m actually doing this…God knows what...What the hell?! Morpheus…Morpheus!”
