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It's been a while, but I guess that doesn't matter anymore. You've forgotten me and that's ...I guess it's fine. I wish it wasn’t true, but you don't owe me anything and it's not like …
I can't help but miss you. I'm sorry I know it's weird and I should probably stop thinking about you.
I should stop trying to call you. I should probably give up already, and stop checking your Instagram, or Twitter, or Facebook, or… you're not on any of those and...
Sometimes I wonder if I've lost you too and I just can't...I refuse to believe it.
Please come back to me.
I know you don’t love me. I will learn to accept it one day. But I beg you, if we were ever more than strangers to each other, if you cared even a tiny bit, please at least let me know if you’re okay.
Not knowing where you are is killing me.
I miss you,
I love you,
Rian
CHAPTERFOURTEEN
Rian, Ri, Ree-ahn
AUGUST 2022
“This image looks perfect. This one too. Tell my assistant I approve of these two photographs for the campaign.” Then as an afterthought, he turns to Rian and smugly says, “We look quite lovely, don’t you think, darling?”
Darling.
The word grates in his ears like nails on a chalkboard, even if it is spoken softly.
Harris is holding up the iPad, swiping not nearly slow enough for his husband to actually see any of the images he has been discussing with Rick Landon – his secretary/errand boy/soon-to-be hook-up boy. He didn’t need to as the photographs have been printed and sprawled around their living room table for about a week now.
Rian bobs his head in agreement, because yes, they looklovely, even if it is all fake. Harris is incredibly attractive, and Rian fits in his arms in the most perfect way. They are a very striking couple.
Apparently, no verbal input is required of Rian. Harris turns his attention away from Rian and continues his conversation with his campaign manager, while Rick primly takes notes.
Rian has been ordered to be present for this meeting, as they were preparing for an interview. He has been given the approved questions and answers to go over with Harris and practice, to ensure their delivery is smooth on the day of the interview.
The journalist was going to be at their house in a few days. Rian just wants to get it over with. He’s nothing but a prop. A token gay husband. Even if that man came and saw Harris beat the shit out of Rian, none of it would make the fancy political magazine they are being interviewed for. If anything, he wonders why they even bothered sending someone in person if it is all scripted anyway.
Rian steals another glance at Harris. This stranger lording over his staff, his lawfully wedded husband has everyone in their life fooled. Including Rian when they first met. Harris had effectively created the illusion of them falling in love. He had been just as handsome then – his solid presence and unwavering confidence, always assertive and ready to handle any problem or obstacle that Rian might have been struggling with. Slowly, he took over all aspects of his life and handled Rian like he was just another puppet from his entourage. As of late, the days when he was lost and ignored in the crowd of people around Harris, were the good ones.
His eyes drift to young Mr. Landon. Rick is a new sparkling addition to his husband’s company team. He is a fresh-looking twenty-four-year-old carbon copy of Rian, and it amuses him to no end how everyone pretends not to notice the incredible resemblance. Rick’s blond locks are neatly styled and tamed with a fashionable shorter hairstyle, but the likeness is uncanny, nonetheless. They could be fucking related for all Rian knows.
Rick is tall, slender, and a swimmer, just like Rian. He has a fair complexion and even beauty spots around his full rosebud-pink lips. He somehow always looks like he has rolled out of bed and slipped into a designer outfit that is perfectly tailored to his gorgeous body.
Rian is pretty sure that when he had been getting ready to come to the office this morning, he had looked tired – puffy eyes, messy hair, sore and exhausted. It had taken him forever to find the energy to care and put together an acceptable, somewhat formal outfit.
He certainly isn’t paying as much attention to his husband as young Mr. Landon.
The way Rick looks at Harris makes Rian nauseous.
Not because he is jealous.Fuck. No.
Rick’s antics disgust him because Rian is pretty sure he had once looked at his husband with the same amount of adoration, infatuation, and lust.
All emotions he had believed real before he knew exactly who Harris was.
