Page 108 of A Queen's Shadow


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This couldn’t be real.

“Isla?”

Isla snapped her head up, catching Ameera crossing the sand.

Isla went ramrod-straight, quashing whatever brewed inside her, throwing fire at it to burn it away.

Not now. Not now.

She’d forgotten she told Ameera to linger nearby.

One hand over her heart, she tried mastering her breathing while the other waved her off. “I’m fine!”

The biggest lie in the world.

Ameera broke into a sprint towards her, moonlight gleaming off her hair and sand kicking up in her wake. With that warrior’s analysis,general’sanalysis, she inspected her. “What the hell happened in there?”

Isla clenched and released her fists, choking out a breath. “It wasn’t a magic show at all. It was a meeting for the rebellion. Amalie is—” Isla shook her head. “The things they want to do, I—I…”

Ameera’s features hardened, and she pointed to the ground. “Sit.”

Isla paced a few steps, her body wired. “I can’t.”

“Sit,” Ameera commanded again. “Breathe.”

Isla stared at her for a few moments, trying to choke down an inhale before she lowered herself to the grit. The texture of the beach was welcomed, soothing as she dug her fingers into it.

Ameera eyed her, ensuring she was settled before turning away. With her head down, she scoured the beach for something. Isla couldn’t muster up enough energy to ask what. Eventually, she scooped up a decently-sized shell that she filled with ocean water.

Trudging back to Isla, she held it out. “This is the best I can do.”

Isla blinked. “You shouldn’t drink salt water.”

Ameera flashed her a deadpan look. “Close your eyes.”

Isla didn’t know why she obeyed so quickly. She flinched when the cool water splashed over her face, then sighed into its salty scent. With sandy hands balling up her shirt, she wiped her eyes. “That feels nice.”

Ameera left again to get more, but Isla scrambled to her feet. She followed her to the shore’s edge and kicked off her shoes, rolling up the legs of her pants. Her breaths moved like the wind and the waves as she dug her toes into the cool, wet sand, letting the water lap across her feet.

Breathe.

Her eyes traced the strip of moonlight on the water before she let her eyes slide closed.

Breathe.

“Are you okay?”

Isla wouldn’t look at her as she nodded. Shame coiled in her gut. Goddess, she was falling apart.

“Barely.” She hung her head. “I don’t know if you’ve realized this about me, but I hate not being in control. I—I can’t handle it. Being pushed and pulled by someone else, not having a say in my own future, wherever it or they are going to take me. I don’t trust. I don’t trust myself to handle whatever it is.”

She peered at Ameera, who only eyed her with consideration, no judgment. Just a listening ear. Thank the Goddess. She needed it.

Isla cleared her throat. “When I broke down last year, I was lost. I felt like I had no purpose, and now I have too many. I went from wanting someone to justsee meto wishing I could hide because now everyone is looking at me, and I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m cracking. I just need it to stop. It’s too much. It’s too fast.”

Silence fell between them with nothing but the sloshing and a gull’s soft caw.

“Do you wish you fought harder?”

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