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Malakai turned away from her towards Adrien and Sebastian, and she bit her tongue to prevent a sound from slipping from her lips.
“You boys will come with me,” the Beta said. A question or a statement, Isla wasn’t sure.
She glanced at her brother through blurring eyes. Sebastian’s lips pursed as he trailed his gaze over them both again.
“If people are getting killed,” he finally said. “I think it’s best I stay. For Isla.” His eyes slid to Kai for approval, and the alpha nodded—another strike in her father’s book.
Next, the attention turned to Adrien, still in his paled state of shock. His mouth opened and closed. How much choice did the Prince of Io actually have? Isla knew the words that were coming before he even spoke them.
“I should get home.”
* * *
By the time Isla and Kai arrived back at the Pack Hall, there were only a few hours left until sunrise, but they were covered in too much mud, rain, and death to simply collapse into bed. The pack had gone into another lockdown, guards posted on every corner, searching for a killer, something becoming all too commonplace.
It could’ve been a rogue who slipped in, a spy or someone tied to the Hierarchy, an unfortunate confrontation on Eli’s part…
Either way, he was dead.
“You go first,” Kai said, starting their shower’s flow of water.
In her daze, Isla watched the patter of droplets cascading over the white ceramic floor like the rain hours ago. How different everything had been, then.
When the steam began clouding before her face, Kai tested the temperature with a hand. “It should be good,” he said gently and turned to walk out, but Isla grabbed his arm.
“You, too.” She cleared her throat, hating how wrecked her voice sounded. “Unless you want to be alone.”
She would’ve understood. So much had happened tonight, and most of the time, he needed that chance to process before he eventually came to her.
But Kai stepped forward, his lips soft against her forehead. “I would never turn down a shower with you.” Though the words could’ve been construed as wanton, there was nothing impish in them or any of their next movements.
Everything—from how they removed each other’s clothes to how they stepped into the water and began washing each other off—was gentle, intimate, caring, and grounding.
Isla took in a deep breath of lavender as Kai worked his fingers through her hair, washing the night off her body with every considerate caress of her skin. Her heart went to battle because here she was with the man she loved more than anything, and the world was crumbling around them. People were dying around them. War was only a handbreadth away—and she couldn’t make it stop.
A sob clawed up her throat, spilling from her lips as she dropped her head. Kai wasted no time spinning her around, pulling her into his bare chest. His wounds from the bak had healed now—she hadn’t noticed before in the forest—but she felt the raised scars beneath her cheek. Scars he’d bear forever.
How much more death could she take? How much more would shehaveto take if they were going to war?
It felt as if someone had scooped a hand into her chest and ripped out her heart.
I’m dead in the water already.
“I left him.” The words cracked out of her as she wrapped her arms around Kai’s torso, feeling the water cascading down the muscles of his back. “He told me he was in danger, and I left him.”
“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known.” Kai stroked her hair. “If anything,he knew. If the Hierarchy wanted him dead…”
He trailed off, knowing the sensitivity of blaming the Hierarchy, of blaming Cassius. She’d certainly made that divide between her and her father now. Rather than waiting until morning to leave, Malakai had been gone within a few hours and Adrien with him. To get far, far away from her and this place.
She should’ve told him about her fucking mother.
Another sob wrenched loose, and Kai held her tighter. “There’s only so much you could’ve done, Isla. You’re not meant to save everyone.”
“I haven’t saved anyone,” she rasped.“I feel…I feel like I’m running around a boat, patching up holes to keep it from sinking, but when I’m not looking, a monster comes to rip the people I know and love away. And I want to fight it, kill it, so it stops, and patch everything up, but it’s just waiting for me to turn my back to swallow me whole, too.”
She wasn’t sure if she even made sense. Wasn’t sure if she would’ve been better off shouting about how unfair and fucked everything was rather than her twisted metaphor.
Kai kissed her hair. “Well, the monster can fuck off.” She felt the corner of her lips tick up, just as he’d likely expected. “I can fight beasts, too. I battle plenty every day, battling myself, and I’m getting better at it.” At his pause, Isla leaned back to take in his handsome face. “The boat’s bigger now. It’sours, and I will watch your back while you patch up every hole. I will be at your side while we figure this out and try to salvage as much as we can in the process. If there are rogues and spies, we’ll keep them out. If there’s war and rebellion,” she’d already informed him of all Eli had disclosed, “then we’ll firm up where we stand and draw the line. If Deimos is at risk, we’ll defend it. And if I’m…something,” he swallowed. “Tomorrow, I’m going to Olyvia to get some wolfsbane.”
