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She caught the unease on his face. “Yes.”
His throat bobbed. “And how does he feel about all of it?” They were careful, cautious words.
“I won’t lie and say he’s fine, that he’s forgiven her. Honestly, we don’t talk about it much,” Isla said.
“How could younot?”
A defensiveness slipped into her voice. “Because everyone processes things differently, and that’s how he is.” She let out a long breath, Jonah’s desires ringing in her head. “I want to find her, I want to bring her home, but I…I don’t think it’s the best idea right now.”
Sebastian reeled back like she’d punched him in the face. “Not the best idea?”
“Do you understand what she did? What could happen if anyone found out?” she gritted. “She’d be arrested, at the least. Imprisoned at best or execute—” She couldn’t finish the sentence. “Everyone here wants the killer’s head on a spike. There’s only so much I can do to protect her.”
“That’s where you’d draw your line?” Sebastian bit out.
The accusation in his tone made her blood boil, then ice. “There’s no line. There’s no simple answer. This isn’teasy. It’s not just about me. It’s not just us. Our family. Kai. She murdered aking. This involves all of Deimos, our allies, who all want some type of justice. And once they’re through with her, where do you think their attention goes next?” She paused, giving him a chance to answer. His falling features were enough of a response to show his understanding. They’d target her next, then him, their father. “I won’t turn my back on my family; I can’t, which means it would all lead to more suffering, more mess.”
Sebastian blew out a hard breath, shaking his head. “So, what are we supposed to do?” He threw out his arms. “Pretend she’s still dead? Like she doesn’t matter, like she doesn’t exist?”
“No,” Isla snapped and then groaned. “Well, yes. She’s better hidden. Safer.”
“And you’re sure she’s safe?”
Isla’s shoulders slumped. “No.”
Sebastian let out an astonished breath. “What the hell are we supposed to tell Dad?”
“Nothing.” Isla swallowed, guilt threatening to suffocate her. “If he knew the truth about all of it, he’d probably go after Cassius—and we know how that would end.”
The warning worked two-fold. Sebastian couldn’t try anything rash, either.
He shook his head, his features twisting in agony. It was too much. “This is fucked, Isla.” His voice guttered.
“I know,” she breathed. “I know.”
A muscle feathered in Sebastian’s jaw as a tense silence settled between them. Isla fought back against the cold crystallizing her veins, against the stirring beneath her skin.
Not now.Not real. Not happening.
“How long have you known she was alive and didn’t tell me?”
She snapped her eyes up, watching the wind ruffle Sebastian’s hair. And in a flash, he looked as he did the day they’d learned of what had likely become their mother’s fate. Though rather than agony and distress, his eyes gleamed with disappointment as his jaw set. He already seemed to know her answer before she warily confirmed, “A few weeks.”
“A few weeks,” he repeated, his voice broken. His lips pursed, and he looked off as if he’d been recounting all those times he’d been with her, all the times he’d suspected their mother was alive, and thought himself crazy, sparing her his theories so he wouldn’t reopen her old wounds while he suffered alone.
Isla stepped forward, her arm outstretched. “Seb—”
He retreated. “I need to think.” He fell another step, backing down the hill. “Have, uh…have a good time in Mimas.”
Isla didn’t stop him, only watching as he disappeared into the brush.
* * *
When Isla looked into the murky river waters, she swore they still eddied with Eli’s blood. She let the gentle rock of it hypnotize her as she stood at the far edge of the dock while the crew readied their boat for their trip down to Mimas. She almost didn’t want to look at it. The last she’d been on that boat, they’d been sailing towards Kai’s fight to the death.
She didn’t flinch when she heard the heavy footsteps on the wooden boards, only letting out a small breath when Kai came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Don’t leave me,” he whispered, with the perfect hint of overdramatics as he dropped his head to place a kiss on her neck. Isla wished it had been enough to crack this well of emotion in her chest. Better to fall apart and let it all out now with him than break down anywhere else.
