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“Not that I wouldn’t love to,” he said. “I mean, I’d really, really love to, but...”
She stopped. He took two more steps before he stopped and turned toward her.
“But what?” she asked.
He didn’t say anything for a long moment. She wanted to shine her flashlight in his face in the hopes of reading his thoughts.
“You’re not coming over?”
“I don’t think I should.”
“Why?” she asked, then wished she could take it back. Why? sounded too much like Please. Suddenly cold, she zipped up her jacket and then forced herself to start walking again. Why? Why wasn’t she ever enough?
He cleared his throat as she brushed past him. It must be difficult to explain to a woman why you didn’t want to sleep with her. She was utterly confused. He’d seemed so turned on only a few minutes ago. He’d said he was in pain.
It was the virginity thing. Or the pressure to make her come. Why the hell had she told him that? No one wanted to—
“Because,” he started, interrupting her thoughts, “I want it to be really good for you, Veronica. If we have sex. If you decide you want to.”
She stopped again. If? Was he insane? She wanted it. Really badly. “Gabe, I... I shouldn’t have told you all that stuff. It’s no big deal, honestly. I’ve even... I mean, it’s hard to explain, but I’m not even technically a virgin, I guess. It’s really—”
“You absolutely should have told me. Everything.”
She shook her head. She knew he couldn’t see her. They were beneath the trees and not even a hint of light got through. The circles of their flashlights bounced on the trail at their feet.
She shook her head again. “I’m not looking for some weird moment with candles and stuff. I just want to do it.”
“Get it over with?” he asked.
“No! Well, yes. But no, I mean, I want to. I wanted to do it back there. On that rock! You turn me on more than anyone ever has and—” Shit. Why did words keep coming out of her mouth? “I just want to have sex because I want to. Like anyone else would!”
A few heartbeats passed. Veronica wanted to kick herself.
“You were that turned on?” he finally asked.
“Oh, my God, don’t pretend you didn’t feel it.” Her crotch was still cold.
Even his chuckle was sexy. She was starting to hate him and his sexiness. “It’s different to hear you say it, though. It’s nice.”
“Shut up,” she grumbled. At least her face wasn’t cold. Her face felt hot enough to melt steel. If she turned off her flashlight, maybe she’d see the red glow of her face reflecting off the leaves.
“Listen.” His hand settled on her shoulder. She was glad she couldn’t see him in the dark. He was close, though. Close enough to slide his hand over her hair. “I’m not planning to show up with candles and champagne. I just don’t want to rush it.”
“I turn twenty-seven tomorrow. This hasn’t been a rush.”
“Tomorrow?” he asked. “It’s your birthday?”
She waved a dismissive hand. “Yes, and I’ll still be a virgin for some reason I don’t understand.”
Even in the dark, she could see his smile. “Okay, I’ll be blunt. I want to wait because I want you squirming for it.”
The vulgarity of his words hit her square in the belly. “Oh,” she said.
“I want you thinking about what we did tonight. I want you so turned on you can’t stand it. I want you dying for it. Because I don’t think anyone’s ever gotten you there before.”
She shook her head, speechless.
“Guys rush things. I was like that for a few years, too. We all are, I guess. And I think you’ve been with those guys. Guys who get you turned on just enough so you’ll give in and let them kiss you, touch you, see you naked. Give them what they need to come. I don’t want it like that. I don’t want you to get it over with. I want you to come. In my mouth. On my cock. I want you to come for me, Veronica.”
