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When my climax finally wanes, he slows his pace and lifts his head to stare at me. His eyes rake over my face with a poetic beauty I can’t quite explain. My reaction to how he studies me is visceral, and it sends a bevy of flutters throughout my stomach and chest.
He’s lookingthroughme, not at me.
His gaze penetrates me so acutely I fear he’ll see everything I’ve kept hidden for years. Every secret, past hurt, and lie. Every burst of hope that’s been dashed from me.
He sees them all like my eyes are merely windows.
I slam them closed to try to hide from him. But all the regret for my life choices comes rushing to the surface once the darkness in my field of vision bleeds into the inky black of my soul.
Burning unchecked is the regret for the lies I’ve told. Adding to the fire is the regret over the years I’ve lost as penance for my sins. But scorching me worse is the regret for the pain I’ve caused— not only Cal but my family. My baby sister especially.
If he knew everything I’ve done, he wouldn’t want me.
No one could ever want me. No one ever has.
The tragedy of that thought cuts me deeper than all the rest. Because for the first time in my life, I’ve found someone who I want to know me. The real me.
But if he did, he would leave.
How can I reveal the real me if doing so would drive him away?
It’s a situation I can’t win. There’s no way I’ll survive this.
Survive him.
Through the anguish, I force myself to open my eyes and am relieved he’s no longer watching me. The respite of being away from his perceptive stare causes tears to overflow until I’m unable to dam the tide.
They stream freely.
Because I don’twantto hide from him.
With his face buried in my neck, he worships the erogenous curve of my throat with his talented mouth. His hips thrust in long, smooth strokes as he chases his own orgasm. He holds himself deep inside me and finally succumbs to his release.
When he draws back to kiss me, he freezes in response to my tearful expression.
“Baby, are you okay?”
So I do what I do best.
Lie.
Chapter30
Peeping Tom
KLEIN
“Yeah. I’m great.”
Using the pads of my thumbs, I wipe her tears. “Then why are you crying?”
“Doesn’t everyone cry during the best sex of their life?”
I level her with a skeptical glare. It was amazing for me— probably the best I’ve ever had. But what are the chances it was for her too?
She’s obviously more sexually adventurous than I am, so she’s probably had lovers who…
No.I stop the train of thought in its tracks.
