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I rap my fingernails across my desk and contemplate what to do next that doesn’t involve staining my soul with mycreeperificactivities.
Perhaps Boss thought I’d need more time to settle in. With all my new hire paperwork completed, he gave me instructions to make myself at home, get with Peggy for a tour of the facility, and get to know the support staff. We did all that.
She showed me the locker room and gym facility on the first floor, complete with cardio equipment, sparring mats, and weight machines. There were a few guys on the mats sharpening their hand-to-hand grappling skills. The eye candy was a free perk of the tour. The indoor shooting range was also quite impressive. There’s even a bunk room here that I can use if I pull an all-nighter and need some quick shut-eye. Then we went floor by floor, and she introduced me to anyone who was around.
Most of the guards aren’t here since they’re in the field. Despite the lights and computers being on, Tomer the bland wasn’t in his office. But he’s likely still in the building. It would have been nice if he stopped by first thing to welcome me to his team.
But nooo,she thought with the attitude of a third grader.
I expected the daggers to be thrown at me from Cal, but Tomer has no reason to distrust or dislike me. I apologized for the friendly hack when I met him on the day Big Al offered me the job, and he didn’t appear all that bothered. So why the cold shoulder now?
Maybe Cal told him about my covert seduction.
He probably did— the rat. Cal is the open-book type of man. Emotions on his sleeve and nothing to hide. Easy to read and even easier to manipulate.
A sour feeling sets in my gut.
Fuck off, guilt. Regret and shame have already taken all remaining rooms at the inn.
Besides, Cal’s not the rat; I am. But I did what I had to do.
Sort of.
Did I have to sleep with him? No. He’d already told me most of what I needed to know. Opened his insides and let me poke around like a surgeon.
But fucking hell. He charmed the panties off me— quite literally.
Sweetheart smiles and cheesy jokes. The innocence of youth mixed with the life experiences of a man. A soldier who’s seen the worst side of humanity but somehow retained an almost gleeful positivity.
Despite knowing how the world works, he chooses to see the good in people. To give the benefit of the doubt and look on the bright side. He was downright effervescent.
Was it so wrong to want that light to surround me for one night? To pretend I wasn’t a monster who’d do anything it takes to accomplish her mission, regardless of the cost?
Given the entirety of the situation, I’d almost consider it a justifiable action. A biological need for companionship and human connection.
Hell, I’dliketo say there was no harm, no foul, and that it was a mutually beneficial experience.
But the darkness in my soul disagrees vehemently.
No sense lamenting about it now, though. The deed is done.
And bydeed,I mean hot-as-hell, sloppy-drunk sex that’ll live on in my mind until my vagina has long shriveled up from nonuse and old age.
A twinge of physical pain shakes me from my memories.Shit.I gnawed so hard on my lip that I broke the skin.
The memory of Cal playing my body like a fiddle returns once the sting of my mouth fades. No, a fiddle isn’t the right metaphor. Although he does have a mighty impressive bow— heh, heh— I think he played me like a flute.
Cause you know… all the holes.
Who knew good boys could fuck like that? Rough and gentle. Passionate and intense.
Nothing kinky and not much dirty talk, but he didn’t need it. He was perfect exactly as he was.
Although I had quite a bit to drink that night, I don’t think booze goggles are to blame for the way I continue reminiscing with such… carnal fondness.
I’m not a tiny woman, but that didn’t stop him from tossing me around and moving my body into every delicious position imaginable.
Ouch.
