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Wow. Tomer has a nice smile. I’m fairly certain I’ve never seen it before. I point at him while my chuckling dries up. “You’re low-key funny.”
His smile falls minutely. “No, I’m not. I’m the no-fun fuck, remember?”
Oh.My throat gets thick as I get a glimpse of his pain.
He’s hiding some hurt over the way he’s treated, but it’s not the time to explore his wounds, so I let it pass for now.
But I decide then and there, I’ll never tease him like the others do.
“Okay, so you don’t give a shit about people. Fair enough.”
“People are not my problem. And he always comes back. Sometimes it’s five minutes, sometimes an hour or two. But Klein’s reliable and loyal.” He shifts in his chair and pushes his glasses up his nose. “Where were we?”
His tone has returned to the flat, monotone quality. Factory mode has been reset.
“Uh, I was going to make a confession,” I start, scrunching my nose and looking at him from under my brows. “I’ve already—”
He interrupts, “You’ve already looked at this shit, haven’t you?”
Hiding my sheepish grin, I bunch my mouth to one side, nibbling my bottom lip. “Maybe.”
Exasperated, he lets his head loll. “I fucking knew it.”
“Sorry,” I admit, needing to come clean with him. He seems like a good guy, and there’s no reason for me to mess with him. And selfishly, I want to accelerate my training and get to work on some actual good shit.
“In fact, I’ve already read the SOPs and the partially completed draft of the job responsibilities document you started but never finished, and I looked up all the clients in Bruce. Found something interesting, if you’d like to know where you can tighten your client screening process.”
“Wow, Miriam. Fuck. Nothing like getting an ego check on someone’s first damn day in the chair.”
Despite his intense words, I can’t tell if he’s impressed, frustrated, happy, sad, tired, energized, or dead inside.
The need to defend myself rises, but I quash it. He doesn’t need to know mywhys. Only thewhats.
“I prepared a document with my assessment,” I offer, pulling out a jump drive and waving it in his face.
He eyes it carefully, probably debating whether he wants to risk letting me put the drive into one of his network PCs. But he’s going to have to get over that shit if we’re going to work together.
And I want this job. I want him to trust me, and not for nefarious reasons.
I didn’t realize how badly I wanted it until I left the CIA and felt a freeing sensation unlike any I’ve ever felt before.
Iwillmake this work, and getting Tomer to see my value is key. Once he does, the others will follow. He’s a leader, even if he doesn’t want to be. Even if it’s not in the traditional sense like Leo and Big Al. Those guys are the head of Redleg, but Tomer is the brain inside.
Trying to ease his mind, I offer, “Tomer, look. I know you don’t have any reason to trust me. In fact, quite the opposite. But Shep trusts me; that’s why he recommended me. And Big Al hired me after intense vetting.” I lean forward, infusing sincerity into my voice and expression. “Believe me, I’m here to help. I’m part of the team now. I will be an asset to Redleg. I promise I’m not a liability.”
“No background check or vetting process could look into your CIA file. And I already know your real last name isn’t Owens. So I hope you’ll forgive me if I don’t share Big Al’s enthusiasm and trust.”
My shoulders sag. He’s right.
Redleg will never get a full file on me. It’s been sealed and sealed again, locked in aJumanjicase and thrown into the ocean. One that will not wash up on a beach somewhere.
“Although most of my CIA career will never see the light of day, he called his contact at the company and did his due diligence on me.”
He holds my stare while rubbing the nape of his neck.
I purse my lips as I realize I’m going to have to give him something. “Hang on. I’ll be right back.”
Scurrying out the door, I bop into my office to grab my shit before returning. Sitting down, I surrender the items to him. “Mobile AirCard so you don’t have to use the Redleg Wi-Fi.” I point to my laptop. “This is my personal device.”
