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While I read and reread the file, I imagine the panic that must have been in his voice when he pleaded with the dispatcher for help. I can hear it so clearly in my mind.
On the screen, my mouse pointer hovers over the audio file. I don’t want to hear it.
But it’s what I deserve.
So I click the file.
Once it’s loaded and playing, I lean back and fold my arms around myself. And I sit there, forcing myself to listen to every heart-wrenching second. The tone of his voice is utterly anguished but with a clipped calmness, revealing his experience in high-stress situations.
My chin wobbles as he tells the dispatcher about her condition and about the perimeter alarm. When he describes her physical appearance, his words are infused with a tangible pain. A desperation I can’t quite relate to. But I feel it all the same.
There’s no one I’m that close to anymore. No one I can’t live without, which was largely by design.
The downside is that no one loves me, either.
When the call ends, I sit silently, my thoughts heavy and scattered.
I don’t know how much time has passed when I’m finally shaken alert by the chime of my personal cell phone. There are three texts I didn’t see. I guess while I was in my emotional spiral, I tuned out my cell phone.
When I tap the screen, my sadness is quickly replaced by a zing of excitement, followed by a wave of guilt that slams into my chest.
Although his name isn’t saved in my personal cell, I know it’s him.
Klein
The texts on our private phones aren’t backed up by Redleg.
Klein
So tell me here.
Klein
Tell me why you weren’t able to concentrate. In explicit detail. Like you said you would. Unless you weren’t being truthful.
He knowsthe exact buttons to press. Not sure whether I should be wary of that. Very few people know what makes me tick. It’s dangerous to reveal your weaknesses.
But I want to answer him. Iwanthim to know how he affects me.
Much like the night we met, I very much crave revealing the real me to Cal.
I’ve already distracted him from what’s going on with his mother in a spectacularly shitty way, but maybe I can be a positive distraction from here on out. Make him feel good. Treat him the way he deserves.
And by that, I could possibly earn him.
Mia
Are you sure you want to read this while you’re sitting next to Tomer?
Klein
Do I need privacy for this?
Mia
Considering the size of your third leg, I’d suggest it.
Klein
