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This is just not fair. I’ve been with all kinds of men and never felt like this. When Jax looks at me I start to burn from the inside out. I'm hot and cold all at the same time, and when his chair screeches on the floor as he stands up and Ryder looks at him as if he’s just said the craziest thing in the world all I can think is ‘I hope he’s coming to me’...
This was never the plan. I just wanted to meet my father before I die. I never expected to meet—
He pushes through the door like a monster on a rampage, his ice-blue eyes landing on mine and holding. Ryder calls Rachel inside and as Jax stalks over to me. As she passes him she points a long finger at his face and glares, a silent warning, but he doesn’t even glance her way. She looks back at me, concerned, but Ryder calls again and she leaves us.
I swallow hard, squeezing my arms over my chest and clenching my legs together. Jax looms over me, breathing heavily, body twitching as if he wants to do something but isn't sure. Finally, his hands land with a thump on either side of me on the banister and lock me between two ridiculously muscled arms.
His nose is so close to mine, his eyes lowered, and his minty breath stirring the hair around my face as he’s lost in thought. When his eyes raise to mine, I’m utterly frozen. I have the ridiculous urge to kiss him, to grab his shirt and pull his mouth to mine.
“You don’t get to die,” he growls, his voice rough and demanding, as if his declaration alone is enough to magically heal me.
I raise my brows and tilt my head to the side. “What do you plan on doing about it?” I ask archly, automatically defensive.
No one can do anything about it.
But he smirks as if he sees right through me. “I think you just need a reason to decide you want to live,” he says.
His cockiness shocks me. “What? A reason to decide I want to live? Well, good luck finding one.”
I try to push off the fence and run, feeling suffocated by how close he is. Like the air has been sucked from my lungs and I can only breathe what he exhales. I need to get away, now, but his strong hand cups my chin and he runs a thumb over my lips. He looks as if he has no intention of going anywhere. Ever.
“Why even bother, Jax? You’re wasting your time with me…”
I look down, blushing hard, bottom lip trembling. Why am I feeling like this? I don’t even know this man, why should I care what he thinks or what he has to say? My defensive walls to keep people at a distance are failing me. He’s so warm, so gentle, his thumb on my lips is making me think all sorts of dirty things I shouldn’t be thinking. Things I’ve never thought about any man without being told to.
“Why bother? Because of this…”
He exhales, the smell of mint cascading over my skin, and his hot lips meet mine before I have time to register what’s happening.
For a moment I’m completely still, shocked, but his tongue prods delicately at the opening of my mouth and I gasp in surprise. His hand on my chin wraps around to the back of my head, tilting my mouth into his, and even though every shred of reason is begging me to stop, I open my mouth and accept his tongue.
Fire, sweet mint, and one very hot very talented tongue fill my mouth. I shiver in delight, his tongue touching mine is the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt. Slowly, I release the death hold I have on my own arms and reach for him. He flinches in surprise when my fingertips touch his sides, and he moans raggedly when I swirl my tongue around his.
I’ve known intimate touch for much longer than I was ever comfortable with, but never has it felt like this. Never has it felt like fire and ice battling inside me for supremacy. I want to burn with this, be all consumed by it, be incinerated by it.
But the ice in my heart prevents me from letting go. I can’t get attached, I can’t let this happen. I can’t let myself like him.
I should want this to stop. I should push him away…
I open my legs and he steps between them like he was always meant to be there. His zipper presses on the scrap of fabric protecting my core in my denim shorts and arch my back until my chest is pressing against his. Jax growls, his left hand leaving the banister and gripping my leg hard. His fingers sink into my flesh, his thumb dangerously close to rubbing my inner thigh.
I should stop this… I should bite him, scream, something… Gods, is that his cock? The stiffening in his pants is not as shocking as how long that thickness is. I can feel it pressing on my inner thigh, twitching with need, and I’m wet the moment he grinds his hips on me.
No, no, no. Girl, get in control! Kitty, stop your purring!I scream at myself internally, demanding my pussy to not beg quite so obviously, but my hands grip the back of his shirt, fingers curling in the fabric until I pull it untucked. The first brush of my fingers against his lower back makes us both shudder and stop, or lips finally breaking, and I take the deep breath that my lungs had been screaming for.
He licks his lips, looking into my eyes. His face is flushed, the flush running down his neck to a cleanly shaven chest visible through the gap in his collar. I close my eyes and sigh, fighting the urge to unbutton his shirt and see his massive chest in all its naked glory.
“Well…” he whispers, his voice thick and husky. “How's that for a reason?”
My fingers tighten as I strengthen my resolve. I need to stop this. Now.
“I think I need another sample, just to be sure.”
I can’t believe I just said that! I’m a whore. A dirty dying whore. Poor Jax, he has no idea the pain that I will cause him, but for the life of me? I need more. For the last bit of life I have left, I need to feel everything he’s willing to give.
My reservations vanish like they were never there.
I need this man’s mouth, nothing else seems to matter anymore.
