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I have you, daughter, I’ll keep you safe…
Daughter? This is not the feeling of my mother. No, this is a feeling like I’ve never felt.
“Little bug! Did you find a hole to crawl into? Come out, come out wherever you are…” Corey stops in front of the tree and an invisible hand clamps over my mouth shut as another pets me between the ears.
Shh…be silent, be still…
I’m frozen, body obeying even as my mind reels.
“You can’t hide forever, little bug… I have plans for you. My master has plans for you… A pregnant wolf? Why, you’re perfect, aren't you? If not you, then the child. He knows it, I know it. You’ll be his masterpiece!”
Corey’s voice drifts, fading as he moves further and further away, and I feel a pull to leave the log. Slowly, carefully, I push through the fresh ferns and crawl on my belly in the low shrubbery. All around me nature seems to curve and grow to hide my path, a plush green carpet of clover sprouting before me. As I step past it, it fades as if sucked right back into the ground.
I will lead you to safety…The voice says again, and I know now that I can trust it.
I walk carefully, silently, my path muffled by the clover beneath my feet, well into the night. In the distance I can still hear Corey, I know he won’t give up any time soon. My body shudders, paws going numb, and the voice in my head spurs me onward with more urgency. The voice seems to sense my episode coming before I do, and she starts to press me harder.
Quickly, you don't have much time! You must get to the cave before—
My body locks up, starting to shake out of control, but I fight it. In the distance I see a sheer rock wall of a looming mountain. The ivy draping down the front seems to glow, riddled with fireflies that pulsate as if calling me to safety. I stumble, fall, shake out of control, but somehow my body is pulling me forward even as I thrash. The episode is thankfully short, and I pull myself to my paws and to a shambling run.
I can't feel my legs. I trip constantly, aftershocks of the episode making me unstable. The tall brown grass around me in the clearing seems to be waving towards the mountain, the moon shining down on me and illuminating my path. The ivy parts, and I see a woman made of light beckoning to me, eyes full of tears like diamonds. I run and run until finally I fall through the curtain of ivy.
Then the real episode hits me.
I feel like I’m screaming, but no sound is coming out. My body isn’t shifting back to my human form, but twisting grotesquely until I feel like my bones are going to break.
The woman made of light appears again, tears streaming down her face as she pulls me deeper into the cave. I feel my fur hit water, completely soaking me as I thrash uncontrollably, and finally I’m placed in the lap of my inner-voice personified as a glowing illusion. I look past her, up at the roof, where a great willow tree covers us from an opening at the top of the cave. Moonlight shines through the gently swaying branches, lulling me to a calm sense of euphoria as my body trembles and shakes in the arms of this angel.
My daughter, my sweet child…
Everything goes black.
Chapter22
Jackson
Both packs have gathered along the banks of the river, voices echoing as we all call for Cricket. Dusk came and went without a single sign of her, yet everyone is still calling, still hoping.
I feel my heart sinking, my future of a wife and a child crumbling before me like ashes through my fingers. I’m calling her, calling out every few minutes, but it’s as if my body is moving without my knowledge. Cole is next to me, his face set in grim determination, while Chase and Ryder track for any signs of life farther down the riverbed.
“We’ll find her, my friend,” Cole says, the muscles of his face working as he chews on his cheek.
When I told him how they fell, how our trap failed, how all the traps at Rowan's place failed, he was in denial. He’s in denial still, thinking we’ll find Cricket alive. I can feel her soul getting weaker, our bond growing more and more distant. Is she giving up? Is she drowning somewhere down river? Did Corey get her?
“Blood! I see blood!” someone screams and I’m instantly in action.
Cole and I race down the bank, plowing through people who can’t move fast enough and apologizing over our shoulders. As I get to where the blood was sighted, I skid to a stop. It’s not just blood, there's a desiccated eyeball. Sickness like I’ve never felt rolls through me and I fall to my knees and I bring up green bile. My shoulders are trembling, and I can feel strong hands on my back, keeping me stable.
“The eye is brown, Jackson,” Chase says.
I see Cricket in my mind's eye. Those ocean blue eyes are so bright and clear it’s like I can practically smell the salt sea whenever I look at her. It’s not her eye then, it’s Corey’s. She’s fighting!
“She’s fighting!” Cole echoes my thoughts, slapping me on the back and hauling me to my feet.
If she’s fighting we have a chance. If she’s fighting, she’s alive.
If she’s fighting, he’s attacking her!
