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“So there is something, but you think I shouldn’t know about it?” I press.
“Silver Moon stuff,” he murmurs. “You’ve never wanted to know about pack stuff and now you do?”
I know it isn't about pack politics. If it were, Jace would have called Danika even in front of me and discussed strategies. He never puts that kind of talk off for later. Jace is anxious about something, the more I study his expressions and body language the more I realize it. Whatever he’s hiding from me, whatever’s bothering him, he has no control over it. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s so far away from home, or if there’s another reason.
Before I can speak, Jace walks into the bedroom and I follow him. “I’m going to take a quick shower before the appointment,” he says and strips.
I sit on the edge of the bed and watch him. I can’t be mad at him when I see his naked body, for a split second I contemplate taking my clothes off and joining him under the warm stream.
Jace doesn’t look my way though. He quickly walks into the shower and after a few minutes, I see steam from below the door. Wow, he’s so stressed to not make a dirty joke or ask me if I wanted to keep him company in there? What in the ever-loving hell is going on?
With a groan, I quietly pad to my dresser where Jace’s belongings are kept. His watch, wallet, phone, a string of condoms and some keys. I pick up his phone, glance over my shoulder to make sure he isn't done yet, and swipe the screen.
I’ve caught Jace typing in his passcode so many times. I even told him that I knew it and he shrugged it off, not bothering to spare it another thought. It means he has nothing to hide right? If not, he would have changed it. His chats are empty. Only Danika, me and Tan are on his messenger list but all our chats have nothing. Why would he delete everything? Sitting down on the stool, I bite the corner of my nails and do another sweep of anything suspicious but end with nothing. Except the fact that he deletes everything and there’s no way for me to recover them.
The sound of the water rushing continues as I place the mobile back where I picked it up and go into the kitchen. Before I can talk myself out of it, I dial Danika. We haven’t been chatting much since Jace and I reunited, but occasionally she’ll send me a text asking if she should send packs of glow in the dark condoms or some baby clothes.
She answers on the third ring. “Is everything okay, Carli?”
I pinch my lips at the immediate concern. “Yes…why wouldn’t they be?”
After a short pause, she laughs. “You’re pregnant, and calling me instead of texting. My mind went to the worst case scenario.”
“Oh, no. Everything's fine.” I fiddle on the edge of my shirt while keeping my gaze trained on the bedroom door. My voice quietens. “Are you okay?” I fire back. “Is everything at home fine?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Jace has been acting weird,” I sputter out. “I thought you could tell me if something is really wrong because he isn't. He probably thinks it’s best if I’m in the dark about things like this, but it’s not. I feel worse when I don't know what's happening and I worry for him.”
“Carli,” Danika sighs, and I don’t know what to make of it. “I can’t tell you anything Jace wouldn’t want me to. It puts me in a difficult position, I hope you two love birds realize that. And remember, I kept your secrets from him too.”
Fuck, why does she have to make a good point?
“I just wasn’t sure who to ask. I don’t want secrets to come in between us again,” I whisper.
“You should tell him that.”
“I’ve been trying, but Jace pretends everything is fine.”
“Then just trust him.”
There’s that word again. Trust. I trusted Devon, he broke me. I trusted Jace to never leave me, he left. I trusted myself and I’ve failed over and over again. I don’t think I can rely on trust anymore. I need reassurance. And my gut feelings are the opposite of reassuring.
I hear the shower turn off and the water shuts off. “Hey, Danika, I’ll text you later.”
“Alright. Stop worrying, Carli.”
With a tight nod, I hang up, pocketing my phone and going into my room. I lean against the door frame and watch Jace scrub a towel over his wet hair. He glances at me, grins and wipes away the moisture on his body.
“Feel better?” I ask, holding my breath until he answers. Begging him with my eyes to give me what I want to hear.
“Yeah, I was just tired. The water woke me up,” Jace says and my shoulders fall.
* * *
Jace shifts the cloth over the bottom half of my body for the millionth time. The fact that I’m naked underneath it annoys him, it makes me laugh.
“She’s a woman,” I remind him. “You can relax.”
