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“Fine.” He drags me towards the bed, but that’s not happening. Not now, not ever. At the last moment he pauses and reaches for his trousers. He retrieves his phone and flicks through his contacts. “Call her.”
“What?”
“Call Juliette. Ask her.” His face is hard. Set. His eyes serious. It’s a trap, I know it.
“You prepped her.”
“Dios mio.You have damage on this, Lolly. Really. It’s breaking my heart. Take the number. Look at my messages, my calls, my emails.Anything.Call from your own phone. I will saynada,nothing. You ask her whatever you wish to ask her. If I am a liar and if I slept with her. You will find a way to pry that from her, no?”
A tiny voice in the back of my head tells me not to make this call, that I am insane, that I am being driven by something I don’t fully understand. It’s a thought I’ve had before, but it still packs a punch: Mariano wasn’t even my boyfriend, myanything,when he did whatever he did with the rich-o-witch-o, but screw that. I’m going to lose it if I never get to the bottom of this. I grab his phone and stalk into the bathroom, slamming the door, my breath coming out of me in spurts. I check the time. It’s loonybin o’clock in Florida. It’s one thing to call Alicia. It’s quite another to call this Juliette woman.
TEXTRSTART_You still awake?_TEXTREND
I chew my nails while I wait for Alicia to reply. When she does, I hit call immediately, crouching in the corner with my back to the door. “He says I can call her.”
“Back up, back up. He?” She hasn’t been back to sleep. Knowing her, she put some coffee on and watched a re-run ofSouth ParkorBob’s Burgersor whatever her cartoondu jouris these days. I realize with some shame that I haven’t asked her a single thing about her life. Not since I got caught up with Polo Hips out there. “Which he are we talking about?”
I get her caught up in as few words as I can whisper and brace for the worst.
“Sounds like a total asshole move to me.”
“Right!?” Finally! She’s seeing things my way! The relief spreads through me like butter in a hot potato.
“He wants to buy your most beloved horse and have her shipped to you no matter the cost,andhe’s willing to let you talk unsupervised to the old bat hesayshe never slept with? If I were you, I’d climb out the bedroom window and shimmy down the ivy and get away from THE WORLD’S NICEST MAN.” She pauses, laughter filling the gap. “WHO YOU REPORTEDLY HAD THE WORLD’S BEST SEX WITH…”
I mean…
I just…
Could she be right? Could he be telling the truth? Why can’t I trust that? Why, why, why?
I know why. If I trust him—someone, anyone—and it turns out he’s lying, I’ll lose everything. Every.Damn.Thing.
“Lollz, you okay?”
“I’m going to take down her number and call her when I’ve calmed down.”
“Sounds like a good plan, my lovely friend. You know you’re the best, right? You’re the best and you deserve the best, and I’m never going to stop saying it.”
“Do you think I’m nuts, D-lish?”
“Honestly?”
“Tell me.” I need the truth. From someone. I’m ready.
Alicia sighs. A sigh of resignation. A sigh that says ‘here goes nothing.’ “I think you’re right on the cusp, and I say that as your biggest, best fan. You’re either going to allow yourself to be happy, or you’re going to blow this up and regret it every day for the rest of your life.” There’s nothing teasing or flip or angry or accusatory in her tone. She means it. She believes it. All this time, my bestest bestie has been listening to me shoot people down and she’s walked that walk with me because… I guess I must have asked her to, because she’d never do anything to hurt me.
“Love you, Lish.”
“Love you more.”
“Alba gu bràth.”
I stay in the bathroom for a good ten minutes before I flush and let myself back into his bedroom.
“So?” There’s so much goodness in that face of his, so much hope in his eyes. Can he be that good?
I can’t think it through. There’s not enough RAM left in my brain to process anything. He told me Iwaspassion for him, that he’d never experienced it before, that… No, I truly can’t. There’s too much to unpack. I might be wrong about him, but I simply can’t deal with that right now. I can’t.
