AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Remembering that I’m a strong, independent woman—thank you Destiny’s Child for that smash hit—I push my shoulders back and stand tall, chin jutting out. “I wore this outfit so you couldn’t stare at me the entire meeting.”
“Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but it’s not working. I want to put my hands all over you.” Avery stops in front of me, his needy gaze drinking me in. “This—” he trails his hand over the dip of my waist, the curve of my hip, “—just accentuates every. Fucking. Curve.” He punctuates the first word with the sweep of his tongue over his top lip. The second word with his teeth pressing into his bottom lip. The final word with the flip of his eyes up to mine. “I want to tear it off.”
I really wish I didn’t squeak, but I do, and when Avery smirks at my reaction, I push by him and head toward my desk.
“What are you doing in here? Why am I walking into my office and finding you looking all Dr. Evil up in my chair? All you need is a bald cat to pet.”
He laughs and the corner of my own mouth tugs up. I yell at my brain to make it stop. I hate that I like making him laugh. I hate that he makes me smile. I hate that he was my hero last night when he rescued me from the spider that was clearly jacked up on performance-enhancing drugs.
I glance up at the sound of a soft click to find Avery locking the door. Panicked exhilaration races up my spine. “What are you doing? Unlock that!” But also maybe don’t.
He saunters over to me, ignoring my demand. “I just wanted to remind you about our date tonight. What time should I pick you up?”
“Pick me up? We live in the same—” I stop mid-sentence, shoving my finger into his hard chest, because he almost had me there. “We are not going on a date!”
“We are.”
“I thought we decided it was a bad idea.” I cross my arms and raise my brows, jutting my hip out to the side. Avery’s eyes land there for a moment.
“We decided no such thing, Claire. You said that, and I said it was a fabulous idea.” His fingers find my waist, heating my skin right through the thin fabric of my shirt.
“No. We can’t. I can’t. I’m busy tonight. I’ve got dinner with Casey and Vivi,” I lie.
His gaze narrows. He doesn’t believe me, and I wish I didn’t use somebody whose phone number he has as an excuse. He could have my lie confirmed in two seconds flat with a simple text. “Fine. Another night this week.”
“Avery, no.” I wave my arms in front of me and step back. “No dates. We’re not going on a date.”
“Why do you keep rejecting me?”
I hate the twang of guilt that jerks in my stomach. He may be smiling like a fool still, but the hurt sure sounds genuine.
The truth is, I’d love to say yes. I’d love to have dinner with him, spend the evening together. I’d love to kiss him without having to pretend like I don’t want it, like I don’t want him.
But I can’t. I can’t because he doesn’t actually want to date me. He’s just pacifying me so that it doesn’t feel like casual sex or a one-night stand when the inevitable hook-up eventually happens.
I can’t because Aaron wrecked my self-image, my self-worth. There’s no part of me that feels like I’m enough, not only to keep someone like Avery interested, but enough for myself.
How do I handle being tossed aside after I fall? Because that’s what’s going to happen. It’s not a far stretch, because I already am falling. It’s ridiculous and stupid and maddening and I want to slap myself out of it.
If we go on a date, it’ll feel real. I’ll fall. I’ll get comfortable. I’ll let my guard down.
And then I’ll break all over again when my inferiority comes to light.
It’s like Avery sees the internal battle going on in my head, because his eyes soften and his smirky smirk becomes a small, sincere smile. “You’ve got a lot of rules for yourself, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I whisper, swallowing the tightness in my throat as I stare out the window. “I do.”
“Why don’t you let yourself indulge in the people you like, in the things that make you feel good? You did on Saturday, and you had a wicked night. And I’m not even talking about the elevator,” he adds with a wink.
“I…well, I…” My fingers reach for my lips but instead of pulling on them, twisting them like I sometimes do when I’m nervous, I stop myself. I let my fists ball up under my chin instead. Not sure it’s any better.
“Don’t know?” Avery finishes softly.
I do know, but honestly, how do I explain it to him? He’s right. I did it on Saturday. I let go. I had fun. I felt free. But I wound up naked with Avery putting me to bed, even though he didn’t see me naked and was perfectly respectable, which I’m still surprised about two days later. One look and I would’ve jerked him down on top of me and ripped his clothes off.
Gently, he spins me around, pressing my hands to the desk as he steps up behind me, his warm breath on my neck. “I think you’re scared. What do you think?”
“N-no.” I don’t bother hiding my sigh at my horrible lie.
