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CHAPTER 14
Danica
Myfirstfirstdate was over twelve years ago. Mitch asked me to the movies and I didn’t know that it was actually a date. We’d been friends for so long and I’d watched him date other girls who were older (and prettier, or so I thought). It never occurred to me that he was interested in any way other than as a friend to hang out with on Friday nights. He wanted to seeThorand given we were both Marvel fans, I assumed he thought of taking me after some of his buds couldn’t go.
I thought all of that but realized quickly that it was so much more when he walked me to my door at the end of the night. He looked pale, nervous and cagey. I was confused and thought he might be sick.
Turns out… he wanted to kiss me and didn’t know how to go about doing it.
He eventually figured it out and our lives changed.
Now here I am, twelve years later, and I’m on my second first date.
It’s nothing like the first. From the start, I understand that Camden likes me in a way that’s more than friendship. And I have the maturity to understand the complications and the wisdom to know that it’s okay for me to want something like this.
Mitch was my soul mate, but now he’s not. That ended with his death. I don’t pretend to know what my future holds or whether it will be with Camden or some other man. I only know that love is too wonderful to go without and I don’t intend to hide from it, thinking that my only shot was wasted when that plane went down.
If I focus on the biggest difference between thatfirstfirst date with Mitch and this second first date with Camden, the two of us facing each other on my front porch, it’s that I know exactly what this is.
And Camden isn’t nervous the way Mitch was. Sure… I see conflict warring in his golden eyes but his bearing is confident.
Not one to mince words, he says, “I know enough to know that I want a second date.”
Simple words to convey exactly what’s on his mind.
Because I had more fun tonight than I’ve had since I lost Mitch, I say what’s on my mind too. “I’d love that.”
“The trickier thing is that I want to kiss you.” My breath catches, because I wondered if this was how the evening would end. “Even trickier yet, I’m not sure if that will get me a return kiss or a kick in the balls.”
I hold back a laugh but I can’t stop the smile. “There will be no ball-kicking tonight, sir.”
“Good.” His tone is gruff but his touch is soft when he steps into me, brushing a lock of hair back from my face to tuck it behind my ear. A shiver rattles my spine. Camden’s hand doesn’t fall away but instead curls around the back of my neck. He steps in closer and dips his head. “Because I’ve been thinking about this since you fed me that bite of food and your fingers brushed my lips.”
Oh, God. I knew that was such a personal gesture and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me think of kissing him too.
Camden’s words are so damn hypnotizing, I can’t think of anything witty in response. It doesn’t matter, though, because his face blurs as he closes the distance between our mouths.
The first brush of his lips against mine thieves the breath from my body. In a reactionary inhale, my head swims from the scent of his cologne. The taste of the honey mead on his tongue when it tentatively touches mine makes me even dizzier.
Camden pulls back, staring at me with darkened eyes. I observe innumerable emotions rippling through their golden depths.
Desire.
Hesitation.
Guilt.
My hands come to his chest, resting against the thick sweater and I curl my fingers into the knit to grab tightly. “Don’t be afraid,” I whisper.
Of all the things I could have said or done to reassure Camden that I am in this with him, I command him to let go of his fears. It’s the most powerful thing holding him back.
Camden’s hands come to the sides of my neck, his thumbs grazing the skin between the corners of my jaw and my ears. “So fucking tricky.”
“It is.” I wrap my hands around his wrists as he continues to palm my neck. “And it isn’t.”
“Tell me more about the part where it’s not.” His eyes roam over my face, searching for the answer.
“We have history. Both together and apart that complicates things. That’s the tricky part. But I’m choosing to stand in the present, not the past. Right now, on this porch with you, I’m forgetting about what was yesterday. I’m only thinking about today… now. I deserve it and I think you do too.”
