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Camden’s eyes flick between my own as if he’s trying to figure out a puzzle, but I don’t know how to be any clearer. I’m about to offer further reassurance when he speaks and I’m not expecting the directional change in the conversation.
His hands come to my face. “I haven’t had a nightmare since we reconnected. I know part of it is that you’ve gotten me to open up about my emotions and talk about the crash. But the greater part was seeing how you embraced the experience and learned from it. Grew from it. I’m trying to model myself after you and that’s the greatest gift you’ve given me.”
I smile up at him because that sentiment is about as lovely a thing as anyone has ever said to me.
But my smile slips a bit with his next words. “On the flip side, coming to know you better and caring for you more deeply as each day goes by seems to increase my worry. Maybe it’s not knowing if we’re good for each other or maybe the timing isn’t right. There’s the fear of judgment and I’m trying my best to work past that, I promise you. Mostly, by getting involved with someone as amazing as you… I’m at risk of getting hurt. For as much as you’ve helped me grow, I could go in way deep with you and find out that you’re not ready. All my bad dreams now are of falling for you and then losing you.”
Once again, my heart hurts for him. Camden is as traumatized by the crash as any of us, and I am quite sure I’m as much a complication as a gift to him. I wish I could give him the assurances he needs, but I’m flying as blind as he is.
The only difference is, I’m willing to take the risk.
I can’t make him ready to do that, though. I can only wait for him to work through these things on his own and offer my hand, hoping he’ll be ready to take it one day so we can step out together.
I snuggle back into his chest and give him the only promise I can make at this time. “I understand how you’re feeling.”
But I can’t offer a solution.
CHAPTER 24
Danica
Having thrown thecondom away in the bathroom, Camden slips back under the covers and pulls me into him spoon-style. While the sex between us is fucking amazing and only gets better every time, I have to admit, I enjoy the cuddling after. Camden wraps himself around me ever so perfectly and I could drift off to sleep in this warm cocoon or I could lie here and talk to him for hours.
We ended up here because I’m wanton and I own it. Camden’s been gone most of the week with two away games in Houston and Vegas. We hadn’t made any solid plans for when he got back. Tillie and Coen’s housewarming party is tomorrow evening, and while we’ve both RSVP’d, we haven’t even discussed how we’re going to play it.
This morning I woke up with an intense need to see Camden. To talk to him and honestly, to have him in my body. I find myself craving sex with him and because our time is limited between my job, raising Travis and Camden’s travel, I decided to be bold.
He flew in late last night from Vegas, but I know he’s generally an early riser. I sexted for the first time in my life. Put on the sexiest bra and panties I own—refusing to dwell on the fact that Mitch bought them for me—and I took a picture of myself in the mirror. I had my hair pulled over my shoulders, popped my booty out and gave as sultry a look as I could before snapping the picture.
I sent it with a simple message.If you come over, I’ll take the day off work. I don’t have to pick up Travis until three. I’m waiting.
It was bold and daring and my heart raced in terror that he’d text back and say he had plans. Instead, I got nothing.
No response. No indication he’d read the text. Not even a pop of a bubble that he had started a reply.
After ten minutes, I started feeling foolish and put on a robe. After thirty, I got dressed for the day—a T-shirt and leggings, my standard work-from-home attire.
I’d barely sat down at the kitchen table to open my laptop when the doorbell rang. I didn’t need to see through the small panes of glass to know the looming figure out there was Camden.
Scrambling out of the chair, I kicked off my bunny slippers, whipped my T-shirt over my head and shimmied out of the leggings. I was out of breath by the time I reached the door.
When I swung it open, I intended to give him a sexy pose, but I didn’t get the chance. Camden merely hauled me over his shoulder, his large palm coming to rest on my bare ass as the back of my panties were nonexistent, and carried me up the stairs. He’s so strong he took them two at a time.
In my bedroom, he tossed me on the bed and stripped off his clothes. I went to my elbows to watch hungrily. Prepared with a condom in hand, he first spread my legs wide and used his mouth to bring me to a cataclysmic orgasm. Then that condom was rolled on and he was inside me and it was exactly what I needed.
Not wanted.
I needed it. Him. This.
Now we’re cuddling and it feels amazing to experience this intimacy. We live in small snatches of time together and because Travis is a big part of my life, lazily lying in bed is a luxury I’ll never take for granted.
“You tired?” I ask as my fingers stroke the hair on his arms.
Camden nuzzles the back of my neck, his hand spread across my lower belly. “Give me about ten minutes and I’ll be ready to go again.”
I snort with laughter. “I mean from the road trip.”
“Oh.” His abashed chuckle is adorable. “Yeah… little tired.”
