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Spill The Tea society and culture reporter)
There was a time where dating in New York meant stressing over what shoes to wear with what dress, and figuring out which cocktail bars had the best lighting. But now, with more dating apps than our phones have room for, has dating been reduced to numbers and algorithms? How is true love meant to survive when a potential match is assessing us against the checklist of their ideal mate, like we’re a product being researched on Amazon?
There was a brief moment in the New York dating scene where women were protected by the ill-fated Bad Bachelor app. But now, with nothing more to go on than a photo that’s likely been retouched and a bio shorter than a tweet, how do we know what we’re getting ourselves into on a date?
One New York woman found herself in an uncomfortable situation where her match asked a waitress whether they would make attractive babies. She has since been identified as dog groomer August Merriweather, who owns a successful luxury animal grooming business and has been called “Manhattan’s Dog Whisperer” by her celebrity clients. The viral video, which might be history’s most cringeworthy date, has been viewed more than one million times...
“Everybodyhas seen it.” August threw her phone across the couch, where it bounced and dropped onto the rug. It felt like everyone she knew had texted her a link to the article, and her phone hadn’t stopped buzzing all day. She flung an arm over her eyes. “Literally everybody.”
“Well, given there are over seven billion people in the world, that seems like a stretch,” Leah said with a laugh. “And there’s over eight million in New York alone.”
“Great, so one in eight people here have seen it. Much better,” she replied miserably, reaching for her coffee and taking a sip. “And now they know who I am. Why couldn’t I leave without saying anything? Why did I have to open my big mouth?”
Carter Edward Driscoll III had well and truly gotten under her skin. Maybe shehadbeen a little defensive when he’d called her solid, because it wasn’t the first time some asshole had commented on her weight.
Or maybe it was his whole “women are nothing but baby-making machines” attitude that pissed her off.
Whatever the reason, by lecturing him in front of the room she’d guaranteed the video would get attention. The first time someone tagged her on social media, she’d made the mistake of reading the comments.
She should think herself lucky someone considers her attractive.
Solid? He was being kind. She’s just fat.
Not all women want to have babies? Uh, don’t you know the point of the human race is to reproduce?
Of course, there were plenty of people speaking in support of her, too. But the negative comments were the ones that stuck in her head most. They were like burrs, grabbing at her tender spots and hanging on for dear life.
“Augie?” Leah placed a hand on her knee. “It’s a wonderful thing that you stood up for yourself. I’ve always envied that about you.”
“What?”
“You don’t let people steamroll you. Even when we were in high school and everyone treated us like lepers, you never allowed anyone to make you feel second best.”
“Ugh, high school. That’sexactlywhat this feels like.” She shook her head. “Thank God TikTok wasn’t around back then.”
“Amen to that.”
Being shipped off to a private school that her parents had scrimped and saved for in an attempt to break into better social circles had been a nightmare. Her peers had all come from old money, and she’d found them to be elitist and materialistic. Except for Leah Sax and her older brother, Keaton.
They were like her—people from modest upbringings who’d somehow found themselves impostors in the world of the one percent. Being outsiders, they’d stuck together.
“Even if I wanted to keep using dating apps, I don’t think I could.” August sighed. “Now I’mthatgirl from the video. People are interested in me more out of notoriety than anything else.”
She’d already been receiving DMs galore across all her social media accountsandon the dating apps she used. Most people were probably looking for fifteen minutes of fame and hoping to hang on to the coattails she never even wanted.
The whole thing was very overwhelming. Plus, it was making it even harder to sort the genuine guys from the creeps.
“So, you’re giving up on dating?” Leah frowned, her dark brows crinkling above her pert nose as she sipped her coffee.
“No, but Iamgoing to change my tactics. I know what I want for my life, and one mouthy asshole isn’t going to take it from me.” She let out a sigh. “But I need professional help.”
“Therapy?”
“Matchmaking,” August corrected, cradling her mug. “I spent the afternoon researching executive dating services. It costs a pretty penny,butthat means it automatically weeds out the people who aren’t serious.”
“Makes sense.” Leah nodded. “Anyone can download an app and put whatever crap they want in their bio and you have no idea if any of it is true.”
“Exactly. But with these services, the matchmaker fully vets everyone they add to their database and you know the people they connect you with are genuinely looking for a relationship, because who would pay that much just for sex?”
