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But there was nothing. Not a single message or missed call. It felt like a warning—what his life would become if he kept pushing people away.
Molly trotted over to the window and pushed her wet nose against the glass, making a little smudge along with the ring of fog caused by her breath. She made a snorting sound, tail wagging. Then she looked back to Keaton with her mouth hanging open, happy.
“Yeah, it’s a pretty good view.” He walked over to her. “I don’t take enough time to appreciate it.”
Molly’s wagging tail thumped against his knee, leaving behind a sprinkling of white fur. For once, he didn’t mind. Her presence was a comfort—because it made the silent phone and quiet rooms feel a little less lonely.
“What do you think? Would you want to come and hang out with me sometime?” He looked down at her, reaching to run his fingers through her fur, and her tail wagged harder. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
They stared out at the sparkling city together, and for the first time in a long time, Keaton found himself wondering about the lives taking place in the specks of light—who the people were and what they did and if they were happy. Was anyone happy?
“I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing or making the biggest mistake of my life,” he said, looking down at the dog. “I like August a hell of a lot. She’s funny and smart and beautiful and positive and motivated and...did I mention she’s beautiful? Not just in looks, but...more than that.”
She was beautiful in her soul.
There was a goodness that frightened him, because it felt like she was the sun and he was a shadow. Like deep down they were opposing forces. Like one of them would have to overtake the other if it were going to work.
He headed to the couch and flopped down. As if sensing he needed comfort, Molly came over to him and jumped up onto the couch, throwing her paws over his thigh and plopping her head down, ice-blue eyes tilted up. Her tail continued to wag, sweeping over the throw cushion on the other side of the couch and leaving hairs everywhere.
“Thanks for being here,” he said. “I understand why my sister keeps you around now.”
“Wrow wrow wrow,”Molly replied, as if to say,Now I know why she keeps you around, too.
“What should I do?” he asked, smoothing his thumb between the dog’s eyes like he’d seen August do. But Molly didn’t respond. She let out a big sigh and lay heavier on him, pressing down into his leg as her eyes drifted shut. It had been a big day.
There was no answer—not from Molly, not from inside his own head. Not from anywhere.
As Molly drifted off to sleep, the apartment was silent once again. For the last ten years, he’d craved his silence at the end of each workday because it felt like peace. Like escape. But now it reminded him of his time in juvie, in the deep, deep hours of the morning where time seemed to stand still and the oppressive quiet was like a terrifying, endless purgatory.
He’d dreamed of being successful in those moments—of getting out and starting over and making something of himself. Yet in many ways, he’d simply circled around to who he was back then.
A tender heart fearful of all the mistakes he’d made, utterly alone and without anyone to blame but himself.
23
The following evening, after work, Keaton drove Molly back home. Thankfully, Molly seemed in good spirits and had taken the opportunity to nap all day after a busy weekend of performing tricks and being around people, and, therefore, she hadn’t destroyed his apartment, as he’d feared.
The closer they got to Leah’s house, the noisier and more excited Molly got in the back seat of the car Keaton had borrowed to get them to and from the competition. He’d return the vehicle tomorrow—but part of him wondered if he should buy one. It would be fun to get out of the city more often, maybe take Leah and Molly with him. They could do trips upstate to the wineries or even a longer road trip. Possibly up to Quebec or Ontario.
Since when do you want to drive and take trips?
He scratched his head. The whole day he’d been having these strange, uncharacteristic thoughts—like that he should buy a car, or get a dog of his own, or take up a hobby...any hobby.
That he should quit his job.
Ignoring the weird shit going on in his head, he kept his focus on the road ahead of him. Eventually he pulled up in front of Leah’s house and found a good spot to park. Molly almost leaped out of the back seat when he opened the door, practically vibrating with excitement.
“Yes, we’re almost there. Leah is going to be so happy to see you.”
He walked Molly up to the front door, which was already open, and Leah stood there, arms extended. Molly yanked so hard on her leash that Keaton gave up and let it go so the husky could fling herself into her mom’s arms, tail wagging and fur flying everywhere. Leah giggled and embraced the dog, cooing at her while Molly tried to lick her face.
“My girl, it’s so good to have you home!” Leah squeezed her eyes shut.
Leah’s boyfriend, Will, stood behind her, watching on with soft eyes. “We missed you, Molly girl.”
Leah looked up at her boyfriend with total adoration. “We sure did.”
“Hi, Keaton.” Will raised a hand, looking a little nervous like he always did whenever Keaton showed up.
