AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Not like his mom, who’d battled her way out of not one but two emotionally abusive relationships to find love with Harv.
Not like his sister, who lived vibrantly even when in pain.
Not like August, who wore her heart on her sleeve and always said the brave thing.
It was the women around him who were kind and strong, and if he had any sliver of those attributes at all, it was because they reflected onto him. Not because he’d found those qualities himself.
“I promise I’m not upset that you didn’t win.” She scooted her chair over to his and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.
“Are you sure?”
“Kea, listen to me. I know you’re quite hung up on winning—you have been ever since we were kids. But always focusing on winning cuts out themostimportant bit—the journey to get there.” She grinned. “Let me finish, before you tell me I’m talking mumbo jumbo, okay?”
“I wasn’t going to say anything.”
He totally was.
“If there’s one thing I learned dealing with all this—” She waved her hand around, gesturing to her body. “It’s that if you only focus on big wins, then there are a lot of days that feel like failure. But they’renotfailure! Some days, winning looks like washing all the dishes myself and taking Molly for a short walk. Other days it looks like signing a sponsorship contract with a brand for my YouTube channel. One is small, the other is big...but they’re both wins.”
“That’s true.”
“And by always focusing on the destination—the ‘what’s next’ part—you miss all the great stuff that happens along the way. Did Molly win? No. But I’ve now got a great opportunity to work with Isla and Paws in the City, and I learned a lot in that workshop,” she said. “But if I was only focused on the end, then I might feel sad for no reason.”
Wasn’t that how Keaton had been living his life the last ten years? One promotion after the next, one deal after the next—yet the journey felt hollow. How could he enjoy the journey when he was walking the road alone? Wasn’t the destination the only point?
Andwhatis your destination, huh? Your name on the wall of a place you’ve grown to hate, working for a man whose ideals you don’t respect while compromising your ethics simply because staying the same is easier than changing?
Oof.
“I see your point.” He nodded, but it felt too painful to keep discussing the matter. “How are you feeling, anyway? Do you need me to do anything while I’m here?”
“Stop.” She shook her head. “One, don’t try to change the subject. And two, just because I had a flare-up doesn’t mean I can’t support you when youclearlyneed it.”
“Who says I need it?” he grumbled.
“It’s all over your face, misery guts.” She poked him. “What’s going on? You know I can be persistent. I’ll just keep asking until you tell me.”
“I don’t like what my life has become.” There, he said it. “I’m fucking lonely and sad and I hate it.”
For a moment, Leah didn’t say anything. She simply rested her head against his shoulder, her hand finding his. They sat there for a while, and he let her comfort him.
“Aren’t you going to tell me I don’t need to be lonely, because I’m not alone?” he said eventually.
“No.”
He frowned. “Why not?”
“Because you get to decide how you feel. It’s not for me to tell you that you’re wrong.”
He grunted. “That’s very wise.”
“Here’s the thing—you’re going in a direction you don’t like. So why do you keep walking in that direction?” she asked.
He swallowed. “Change is scary.”
“Regret is scarier. Because you can’t do anything about it then. At least now you can course correct and find the right path. And if you make a mistake, you can change again. But once you reach the end, you don’t get to turn around and do it over.”
His sister’s words bounced off the aching hollow cavern in his chest, scattering the ghosts inside him. She was right. Changewasscary, but not changing was even scarier. Because where would he be in five years? Ten? Twenty?
