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To make matters worse, word must have spread around town and school that Maverick and I aren’t together anymore. If I have to see Aileen’s gloating face one more time, I may just punch her which would not go over well for my career. That’s probably the only thing that has stopped me. Seraphine runs interference where she can and I’m eternally grateful of her for that.
Seraphine can tell I’ve been struggling and has really been stepping up for me. She’s been taking the kids to all of their specials so that I can basically hide out in the room and not have to interact with anyone. This time around, seeing people’s pitying faces is five times fucking worse because I feel awful.
I’m sitting at my desk looking over paperwork when I hear a knock at the door. I’m surprised when I look up and see Brant of all people standing there. He looks nervous as hell, so I decide to cut him a break and wave him in.
“Um, hi Spence.”
“Hey Brant, what’s up?”
“Um, okay this is probably not my place, but I heard about you and Maverick, and I just wanted to check in on you. I know we aren’t together and haven’t really talked since everything happened, but you were my best friend for seven years. Even though things didn’t work out between us, I still care about you and never want to see you hurting.”
I shouldn’t be surprised that Brant is here saying these things, but I am. He was always sweet and cared about my feelings, he just made a really shitty mistake. I’m surprised when I feel tears rolling down my face. He takes a few more steps and wraps me in a tight hug.
I cry for a few minutes before I pull myself together. I go back to my seat behind my desk, and he pulls a chair over.
“Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to cry all over you.”
“It’s okay. Well, it’s not okay that you’re upset, but you can always show your emotions to me.”
“I know. Would it be weird if I said I missed you. Not in a romantic way, but I missed our easy friendship. Other than my relationship with Maverick, your friendship always was so easy and natural.”
“I totally get it. I love Jasmine.” He winces a bit when he realizes how that might sound, but I just laugh. “Sorry, it’s a bit awkward. But anyway, I adore her, but I miss our easy friendship. I wish so badly that I would’ve handled things differently so that we weren’t in this constant state of awkwardness, but I truly want you to be happy and will always be around if you need me.”
“Thanks, Brant. That means a lot.”
“So, do you want to talk about it? You guys seemed perfect together if I’m being honest.”
“We were, but we wanted different things. I needed more than he was willing to give, and he honestly did both of us a favor. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to give me what I need, so he broke things off before it would be even harder to do it. He said himself that he didn’t want to be done, but he wouldn’t make things worse and string me along.”
“I can’t even really be mad at him when he’s been honest about his feelings from the get-go and we were both just avoiding the inevitable. Try as I might, I just couldn’t stay away from him. But, on the bright side, I understand your relationship a little more with Jasmine now. I get the all consuming need to be with someone and I am glad you have that kind of love, now.”
“Well that all sucks, Spence. I wish he could give you what you needed so that you weren’t hurting, but I am a little relieved that you can understand what happened with Jasmine a little more. Not that you owe me your understanding since, once again, I should’ve handled things so differently.”
“You are so strong, Spencer. I know this is awful and I wish there was some way to make things better for you but know that I am always here for you. And I don’t care about the rumor mill or small-town gossip. Jasmine knows how much I respect you and valued our relationship. She was the one who kicked me in the ass and told me to come check on you. So, if there’s anything you ever need, please don’t hesitate to ask, or reach out, okay?”
I can’t help but smile because this is exactly why I spent seven years of my life with this man. He is kind and generous. He just made an awful miscalculation with our relationship, but he deserves a break. And if we can be cordial, that would mean the world to me.
“Thanks, Brant. I really appreciate it.”
He leaves and I try to get back to grading my papers, but all I can think about is Maverick. I was mad at him at first, but I can’t really blame him for doing the right thing. I was already head over heels in love with him, but he couldn’t see the future I longed for, and prolonging our relationship when he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get there would’ve been cruel.
Now, I’m just impossibly sad. I miss him so freaking much. I miss his easy, but confident way. I miss his mischievous side and I miss falling asleep in his arms. I know I need to let him go, but I’m not ready to move on from what could have been.
Before I even realize it, Sera is back with the class and its full steam ahead. I make it through the day, but dread going home to an empty house. Thankfully, I have plenty of stuff to do to preoccupy my mind to get ready for our Halloween party Friday.
Somehow, the week flew by in a blur. I’m sure part of that is my stupor from missing Maverick, but the other part is from trying to get ready for the Halloween party and trunk-or-treat.
Every year I go all out decorating my room for Halloween and I end up throwing a party for the kids. But this year, I’m dreading the party portion. Maverick had volunteered weeks ago to take care of all of the food for the party. I wanted to text him and tell him he didn’t have to do that, but Olive messaged me and said the food was all good to go on Friday.
I wanted to tell her not to worry about it, but I don’t want to steal the chance for the kids to have some awesome food, and not have to worry about providing it all by myself. I did make her promise that she was the one bringing in the food and not Mav. I don’t think I’d be able to pull off the fake it til you make it if I had to face him.
The day of the party comes and I’m honestly the most excited I’ve been in weeks. I love seeing all of my kiddos in their costumes. It’s fun seeing what they choose and how they match their personalities.
I’m even more excited because I’ll get to see my sisters this afternoon. Apparently Chayse decided to sign up for trunk-or-treat and dragged Emerson in to help her. I had to warn her not to do anything gory. She just laughed and said she knew she had to keep it PG.
The beginning of the day went by in a blur. I was thankful for the kid's art class and that Sera said she’d supervise so that I could catch my breath and mentally prepare for the second half of the day. Olive was planning on coming in any minute to help get everything ready for the party and trunk-or-treat.
“Knock, knock!” I startle out of my daydream as Olive walks into the room holding a huge box. I can already smell something delicious, and my stomach lets out a loud grumble.
