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I can feel his heart pounding against his ribcage, the rhythmic beats keeping up with my own.
Maybe he is as anxious as I was about this. Even if he does feel he wants me, if what he had said was true about not having had a woman on the back of his bike before he probably hasn’t had any woman that he has been particularly close to either. I don’t fool myself by assuming that he is a man that doesn’t have one night stands and hook ups, I have no doubt he does, but perhaps he hasn’t ever been serious with anyone and the idea of truly getting to know someone and dating someone is as foreign to him as it is to me. Or maybe I am completely wrong and over thinking as usual.
The bike engine roars to life, vibrating beneath us.
As Victor takes off and the landscape surrounding us begins to blur, I notice that his body starts to relax. His tense posture eases and my body seems to follow along. My rapidly beating heart slows and I let the wind blow away the worries that plague me for a while.
It isn’t often I ride on the back of someone’s bike. Dad didn’t like or allow it, but I understand now why so many of the Cobras wives say they loved it. I feel more free than I have in a long time.
The time it takes to get to the lake beneath my favourite spot is only minutes, but those few minutes feel like mere seconds. I am not surprised in the slightest that Victor has brought me here. He had admitted the first time we met that he had been keeping tabs on me, so his knowing my whereabouts and my favourite places to go isn’t a shock; however seeing him dismounting his bike, putting the helmets to one side, and walking towards the path I used regularly in a suit is not something I had anticipated.
“Did you really think walking up here in a suit was a good idea?” I ask, watching as he tries to hide a smile.
“You’ll find that suits are my go to attire. Biker jackets, leathers, and slacks are not something you’ll find me in often. Even when hiking,” he tells me with a smile.
“Do you not wear The Laidens cut?” I wonder, knowing no other club members that don’t show off their clubs symbols and signage at every chance they get.
“I may be one of them but I like to think that I’m my own man, capable of my own decisions. I don’t need a cut to prove who I am and who I am loyal to.” His clean shoes are getting muddy. I watch his face as it shrivels up in disgust as he notices the same moment that I do.
“We can go somewhere else If you want. So long as I’m outside, I don’t mind where I am. You don’t need to get muddy to get to know me,” I tell him with a laugh as his face falls.
“I thought this was your favourite place?”
“It is,” I admit, “but that doesn’t mean we have to be here. Come on, we’ll walk around the lake. On the pavement, save your shoes,” I tell him with a wink as I turn on my heel and head back down the dirt track.
“I only came here because I thought you would like it,” he tells me.
“I do like it. I love it here, but that doesn’t mean that you have to pretend that you do too.”
“I hate hiking, or even just walking out like this. I don’t see the point in it.”
I laugh at his abrupt nature, appreciating his honesty.
“So what do you like to do?” I ask as we follow the curving path around the silent lake.
He ponders my question for a moment, looking thoughtful as he gazes off into the distance.
“I don’t have hobbies, or a huge amount of spare time, to be honest with you. I read before I sleep every night though, so I suppose that would be something I enjoy.”
“What do you read?” I can’t imagine him reading romance and fantasy novels somehow, so I find myself surprised when he admits the types of books he enjoys.
“It’s a little silly,” he tells me as he watches me for a reaction. I make sure I keep my face straight, not wanting to make fun of him for whatever it is he finds so silly.
“I enjoy reading dystopian and apocalyptic books. I don’t read any non-fiction, which my father has always found ridiculous. He didn’t like me reading fantasy and fiction books growing up so I always hid them.”
“I don’t think that’s silly at all. I mainly read romance and fantasy, but I like a few dystopian novels too.”
“I’ll make you a library when we have our own home. We can read all the fantasy books we like.” The smile accompanying his words is like a child’s that has just been told Christmas is coming early, and it breaks my heart because I’m not sure I can commit to living together, to building a life and having what he so obviously wants.
“Your face just fell. I’m sorry, I just..” The ease from his voice disappears.
“You don’t need to be sorry, I just don’t know how things are going to be just yet.”
“Of course. My apologies.” And I’ve ruined it.
“Under normal circumstances, I’m such a hopeless romantic, so in love with the idea of love that I would be planning a wedding and searching up kids names already and sighing at your charm, I just feel so tense at the moment with everything going on and with Crow that I just can’t seem to let loose, you know?”
“I understand,” he says solemnly.
