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"We can't keep going like this, at each others throats, and the only one that can stop that is you, so yes, please." Victor’s formality seems to have reached a new high and though I can't blame him given the recent days antics, that doesn't change the fact that I wish he didn't feel he had to be anything but himself with me.
"You're right,” I say with a deep breath, knowing what needs to come next. "I'm not trying to lead you both on. I've been honest,sohonest with both of you because I do care, more than I'd like to admit, but I can't choose one of you and lose the other. I know how selfish that sounds, but it's true. I feel like I've lost so many people and I can't stand the thought of not having either of you in my life,” I tell them both, my eyes focused on the fidgeting hands on my lap, unable to look at either of them, knowing how awful my words sound.
"I don't know about you, mate, but Char knows how I feel. She knows I love her and I fucking want her. Every fucking part of her and if that's not what you want, if this is just some fling, some fucking joke, then you need to tell her because I want a life with her." Crow’s words tear at the strings that tether themselves to my heart, pulling on every wish I'd ever had of wanting someone to want and love me that way.
I smile weakly at Crow, both in gratitude and awe, before turning to a tight-lipped Victor. He doesn't say anything for a moment, nearly a moment too long as I begin trying to decipher what he's thinking through his facial expressions. A mission that is practically impossible with the blank expression on his face.
"I'm not sure why you would assume my feelings for her are a joke. I know I don't know her as well as you might but that doesn't change the fact that I've been able to be more open with her than I have with anyone in my life. I've never loved anyone in a romantic way, and if I'm being totally frank with you, the idea of loving her is killing me because it puts her in danger, but I do. I knew it from the moment she first came into my home and I realised that I didn't want her to leave." The words coming out of his mouth may have been about me but until now they've been aimed at Crow, but now he looks at me. His eyes shine beneath the dim living room lighting, "I don't care if I have to share you, I don't give a damn about you loving him as long as I get to love you too. As long as I get to love you, I have everything."
The revelation stuns me because although I had thought it through so many times and I knew I didn't want to lose one of them, I didn't ever contemplate having them both. I didn't let myself think that it was ever a possibility.
"I can't do that. I can't choose, but I don't want you, either of you to feel like you're not my first choice. I want both of you to be with someone that can give you everything, and I just don't know that I can do that, not only because of everything that is going on right now but also because I don't know for sure that I'll ever be able to choose and I don't want you to wait and miss out on someone else, on finding someone that can choosejustyou while you're waiting for me."
Crow and Victor don't look at me. They're looking at each other, their gazes intense, though they don't look hurt or angry, they look as though they're somehow communicating something without my knowledge. If I ever believed in telepathy, it would be in this moment. It seemed like they were having a conversation between themselves without any words being spoken.
"What if we don't want that? What if we both want you? Together? Do we get a choice in this?" Victor turns to look at me, slowly, ever so slowly as he speaks, his eyes trained on mine as my head spins between his and Crow’s unrelenting gazes.
"Together?" I ask anyone that will answer, somewhat dumbfounded at the mere idea of them both taking me, having me.
"Why don't we show you?" Crow suggests as he lifts himself up from the armchair to kneel in front of me.
With Crow on his knees beneath me and Victor to my side, I feel undeniably nervous. Not the bad kind of nervous, but the kind of nervous that makes me want to nod my head and tell them yes. Yes to whatever you want, anything you'll offer,alwaysyes. Victor edges closer, his thigh tight against mine as he looks at Crow and nods, before gently moving a few strands of my hair away from my neck, behind my shoulder. Everything seems to be going in slow motion as he gives me time to say no, to stop whatever is about to happen. I can't fathom whatisabout to happen and yet not a single part of me wants to stop it.
Crow's rough hands run along the top of my thighs, making me thankful that I wore shorts, allowing him to touch every part of me that he wishes too. I find myself watching him intently as his hands begin pulling my legs apart, running his hands along the inside of my thighs, higher and higher, until he's so close. So close to my core, doing so little and yet doing so much at the same time, making me feel like every atom, every inch of me is ablaze with want and need.
Victor chooses that exact moment to begin coating kisses along my neck, and despite my need to not seem so desperate for them, my body takes control over my mind, my senses. My body arches, my core towards Crow and my neck perfectly placed for Victor in a desperate attempt to beg them, to plead with them - hoping that they never stop.
"That's it, pretty girl, let us in,” Victor whispers in my ear, only magnifying the tension I feel, knowing that this is real, knowing that they're both here, giving me more than I ever anticipated wanting, let alone having. I try to catch my breath as they devour me, even knowing that being anything but breathless around them is impossible.
Crow’s fingers move tantalisingly slowly as he grazes along the material of my shorts, pushing them aside, as well as the underwear beneath them, leaving his fingers stroking me gently. I like to think that I'm not completely inexperienced and innocent but in this moment, I feel like I've never been touched before and wonder why I've never initiated this very touch sooner. Victor's hands begin kneading at my breasts as he continues to place his lips along my collarbone. He places kisses along my jaw and then my chest until he uses his teeth to pull down my vest, revealing my bare breasts. At any other moment, any other time in my life, I would be disgustingly embarrassed and shy being laid bare so freely before these men and yet in this moment, I feel so much desire for them that I can hardly stop myself from asking them, begging them to do more, to give me everything.
Before I have time to think about what is happening, Crow is pulling my shorts and underwear from beneath me, lifting me so easily to do so. He discards the useless material before lowering his head to my clit, leaving open mouthed kisses along my most sensitive area. Without thought, my hand finds his head, holding him in place, refusing to let go of this euphoric feeling.
"Fucking perfect, so tight,” Crow mumbles as he licks and fills me, entering me for the first time with his fingers, forcing my body to arch further, push his head down even more. I've never needed someone, let alone two someones, so much in my life.
Victor sucks and bites lightly at my nipples, leaving me achingly close to the release I know they'll bring me. The touch from them both feels like it's reaching every soluble part of my body. I've never felt more alight and needy as what I do now.
"Please don't stop." I gasp, unwillingly letting out a moan of pleasure I had attempted to keep in from the moment they began touching me.
"Which one of us don't you want to stop, pretty girl?" Victor whispers with a sexy chuckle before putting his mouth back on one nipple, while kneading the other breast with his free hand.
"Both," I practically cry out, feeling my body pound back into them both as we seem to move as one. "Both of you", I moan, "don't stop, please." I beg, incapable of saying anymore as my head rears back and my body tenses, knowing how close I am to finishing all over Crow’s hand.
Crows tongue joins his fingers at my entrance, using his other hand to rub his finger against my clit while Victor continues biting and sucking at my nipples, using his free hand to reach for the back of my head, pulling at my hair from the roots. The tingling pain only accentuates the pleasure coursing through me from their joined attentive touch.
"You gonna cum for us, baby girl? I wanna taste every fucking bit of how much you need us,” Crow breathes out before returning his attention, his lips, his tongue and face back to penetrate every wall I had ever put up.
"Don't be greedy, I want to taste her pussy too,” Victor says with a glance up at me as he gets on his knees beside Crow.
The mere sight of them both on their knees before me has me as close to orgasm as their touch. These men, so mighty and deadly in their appearance giving me everything, all of them just as I open myself up to them completely.
"Open wide for us pretty girl, let us in,” Victor encourages as they nudge my thighs even further apart. The slight burn my body emits from being in a position I haven't before is diminished by the immense pleasure that takes its place as they simultaneously suck and lick, nibble and finger my entrance and my clit. Their hands alternate so that one of them continuously has their hands on my breasts, roaming along my nearly bare stomach, having only my vest left scrunched around my waist, leaving me completely bare beside it.
"You're close aren't you, baby? I can feel it." Crow practically roars out at the very moment that an unrecognisable sound comes from my lips. I don't even know whose hand, whose fingers it is, but the penetrative pleasure and the constant attention on my clit has my whole body seizing up as I reach orgasm and feel them licking every morsel from my core.
It's now as I come down from the high, watching them raising their heads from the one part of my body that has never been touched by anyone beside myself that I feel so unbelievably cold and shy, unable and unwilling to look either of them in the eyes.
"Don't go shy on me now, baby girl, you were lapping it up just a minute ago." Crow laughs huskily as he rises from his knees before reaching his arms around me and lifting me up in a cradle of sorts.
