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Am I even moving?
Stoner guy says something to Matt and they both laugh.
Stoner guy punches me. It happens so quickly that I don’t even have time to move my head away to stop him. He hits me again, and all I can feel is the swelling and my head hitting the floor as he lifts it up with one hand and hits me with the other.
I can see the blood. I don’t know how I can see it, but my eyes are red.
Everything looks red and bleary. He hits over and over and over again for what feels like hours.
I can hardly see now. My eyes must be swollen or blocked with blood.
He stamps on my stomach with his boots and my automatic reaction is to curl up to protect myself but with my arms being held down, all that happens is my legs moving, but I’m just giving him more of a chance to get his leg in just the right place to do it again.
I can hear myself screaming, I’m just not sure if its really happening, if I’m physically screaming or if it's just in my head that I’m rejecting this moment, in denial that this is happening.
No one in the club is supposed to hurt anyone, let alone women. It's not because I’m special but because I’m supposed to be able to look after myself.
They know that the music is too loud for anyone to hear me. They know no one is allowed into that part of the club unless they are a club member.
I don’t know if they were going to do it anyway or if it was just a matter of wrong time, wrong place. They're at least smart enough to know that they won’t get caught right now and that’s what scares me the most. There’s no one here to come and save me, and I seem incapable of saving myself.
They’re talking, probably shouting, but I still can’t hear.
They’re laughing at me.
Matt is slapping my face. I can't feel it. It doesn’t hurt. The only reason I know is because of my head lolling to each side as I watch the actions take place.
My head hitting the floor when they hit me and being thrown to either side when they slap me.
My whole body feels I’ve been run over by an arctic lorry. I don’t think my body's ever felt so weak.
So scared.
I’m sure I’d normally be filled with rage in this situation, but all I want to do is cry, sob, scream and ask for someone, anyone to come and save me. To help me.
Stoner guy gets down between my legs. He lifts my tattered dress up, rips my underwear off me, and tosses it aside.
I use every last ounce of energy and strength I have to try and twist and turn every part of my body out of their grasp, but all that I get in turn is Matt hitting my face more. Stoner guy is brushing my lower half, and more screaming fills my mind.
Matt has worked out the obvious. That even without him holding onto me that I can't move. He’s knelt on my arms now, just in case and pulls down the top of my black strapless dress.
His face goes down towards my breasts just as Stoner pulls apart my incapable stupid legs.
Matt is biting me. Biting me. And I can hardly feel it because all I can think about is what’s about to happen and what the monster in front of him is going to do next.
Matt sits back, weight killing my arms, probably turning them in all kind of directions they’re not supposed to be in.
He’s pulling my hair, sneering in my face.
Forcing me to look at Stoner.
I do.
He’s already got his trousers pulled down and his cock out.
It's disgusting.
I think I’m going to be sick.
