Page 45 of Signed For Him

"You only don't like me because I interrupted your weird time with my sister and Crow, which might I add for a second time is weird," Gray acknowledges.

"You told me when I was like ten that you would never judge me. This feels pretty judgey," I argue.

"No, no, no, I'm judging him," he says with a look in Liam’s begruntled direction, "and him," he says as he nods towards Crow, "but I'm not judging you." he clarifies.

Despite his reassurance, I somehow don't think the words coming out of his mouth are making the situation any better.

"That's judging, mate," Crow tells him.

"OK, well fine, I'm judging. Now back to the problem at hand please. What do I do?"

"Be honest with him. Tell him that you don't see him that way and that you're not going to carry on having sex because you don't want to lead him on," I tell him, not understanding how this is even a question he needs to ask.

Is it not common sense to do the above? I mean, obviously not if Gray seems to be having so much difficulty coming to the same conclusion that I have.

"Yeah, but I get stressed if I don't have sex for too long."

"Have sex with someone else then, it's not hard, mate."

"It is when there's fuck all gay people around. I don't mess with baby bi's, and I literally don't know any other gay person," he concludes.

"Aren't there apps for shit like that?" Liam asks as he grabs Crow’s phone from out of his hand and begins looking up gay hookup apps and showing Gray.

"Yes, but I'm a depresso espresso that doesn't want to just meet random people for sex. Who knows what they'll do to me? I don't want to be kidnapped and raped, thank you very much. Not my kink," he says as he lifts his hands in the air and shakes his head.

His eyes catch mine at the exact moment he realises what he's said.

"OK, that was bad. I should not have said that. I'm sorry, I didn't think. Too soon, always gonna be too soon," he hashes out in a panicked rush as he waits for a reaction from me.

"It's fine." I smile, knowing he meant no harm and that he just doesn't have a filter between his brain and his mouth. "I get what you mean and from experience, I can vouch that you do not want that. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt," I say as I pull the shirt I'm wearing in front of me as if to show him.

"You realise how weird you two are, right?" Crow asks as he looks between Gray and I with confusion marring his brows.

"Yeah, we're odd, get over it. You love us both; now hush while my sister gives me some solid advice," Gray tells him with a pat on his shoulder and a hand on his mouth to silence him.

"Ew, don't lick me, you freak! Jesus, keep your animals under control, Charlie," Gray says as he pulls his hand back from Crow, wipes his palm on his trousers, and watches him in disgust as an obnoxious laugh leaves me, Crow, and Liam at Gray’s reaction.

"OK, OK, my advice is to find someone else to hook up with, be honest with Ben, and be chill. Meet in public places, tell people where you're going, and do that thing where you check peoples’ criminal records.”

“Ugh, you just don't understand." He groans as he gets up to leave, "Oh, and Dad wants to see you." He checks the time on his phone and holds it up for us to see. "Like twenty minutes ago."

"Are you ready?"

No.

"Yep,” I lie, watching as my dad paces nervously around the room.

I’m nervous, I’m anxious and I'm scared, but the nervous energy emitting from my father is absolutely killing me and making me so much worse.

"Stop pacing, she can't stop watching you," Liam tells my dad, his eyes not leaving mine as he speaks. He's been doing this all day. Watching me as if waiting for me to break down. I mean, I very well might so it's not a bad idea for him to keep an eye on me.

"Hey, princess!" Crow shouts from across the room as he jogs over to me.

"What?" I ask, not wanting to let too many words come out for the worry that I may very well just tell them all that I'm giving up and not doing this anymore.

"The crowd's filling out, Theo's looking like a bitch boy in his spandex, and you're about to become the president of the mother fucking Dark Cobras. You ready for this shit? My princess is about to get queen status people, it's time to move your butts!" he yells at the people milling around us as the few people in here smile, nod, or shout a cheer in our direction.

We're currently in the gym - again with Tin, my dad (Matt), Alice, David, Gray (who said he did indeed find David attractive - great), Liam, and Crow.

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