AllFreeNovel
Share Us
This was ending.
Pain seized my chest.
Breathe.
And I fell again, into the real. For the first time in many weeks, I let the old me return. We had to stop. No. I had to. Because I wasn’t sure Jodie knew how to anymore.
I played with her lip and she licked my thumb, slowly, my little trusting animal. I found courage. She wasn’t mine, or not for much longer.
Weaning meant slow withdrawal, right? At the end of the next three days, I’d talk.
The goggles and the mittens could go first. The next morning, the skimpy clothes would go. Sure. I’d do it then.
That night, I let her sleep beside me, the last night as my pet.
But temptation clung to me. My mindset as her Master, ditto.
The morning tested me.
When she knelt before me, naked, after stripping herself of the skirt and bra – no man could resist that. I bent and kissed her sweetly as I cupped her pussy and fondled between her legs. God, those soft moans. I’d wean all right. I’d tease her like I’d thought to. She wouldn’t come, but neither would I. We’d both learn control.
“Obeisance,” I croaked, pushing her down. I went behind and nestled my cock there in that moist valley, listened to the signs that told of her arousal, of her body readying itself for me. I fastened her to the floor with a palm on the small of her back and I squeezed my cock in slow.
If I didn’t come, we were getting somewhere. I would not hurt her. I could hold that part of me back. I hissed and sucked my dick back out, just as slow as it went in. My hips shook like an earthquake was imminent.
No sadism. For three days.
My head would burst if I kept this up and didn’t come. I withdrew, and stood. I tucked myself away, zipped myself up. There, was that not control?
“I can do this,” I whispered. At the end of three days, we’d sit and we’d talk. I’d get her used to just being mine. With that as a basis, and her predilection for BDSM activities, we’d have a starting point. Like Moghul said – talk, find your common ground. The man knew more than I did about this, surely?
It was hard though. And Jodie didn’t make it any easier. On the second day I went out for milk and bread. Opening the door I found her waiting for me like I’d told her to days before, and forgotten to rescind. She lay belly down, draped over the small hall table, naked, with her legs apart just enough for me to have a clear view of her vulva.
Heart thumping, I placed the plastic bag with the groceries on the floor, and I stepped up to her. The curves of her pale ass led the eye to her nude sex. The split there was cradled by the subtle ridges of her labia. A hint of dampness glistened. The opening gaped.
What man could resist? Slowly, I unzipped my pants. She had the side of her face on the table and at the sound of the zip, her eyelashes fluttered, her lips parted. Her ass swayed the tiniest amount. She’d put on bright red lipstick. New. Her own idea. Once upon a time, I’d told her how alluring that was.
Afterward, I wondered. Had I deliberately, subconsciously, known she would wait for me like that if I forgot to say don’t? As penance, I made sure to tell Moghul that I…we wouldn’t be coming to the play party he had arranged. We weren’t ready for it. I hadn’t even told her about it.
The third day, I was more restrained. One more day and this was over. One more day. Jesus. I gave her back her denim shorts and top, but I had to tell her to put on bra and underwear. The look she gave me was piercing. We both knew.
How did you end a capture fantasy documentary that had gone off the rails like this had? I sure as hell didn’t know. My attraction for her hadn’t lessened as I’d hoped. It had multiplied a thousand times and mutated. I had changed. Jodie had. She still wasn’t talking to me, because I hadn’t told her to. Interesting how she held to that.
Of course we couldn’t keep on as we had. I’d known that, though I’d managed to keep myself from remembering ninety-nine percent of the time. And yet, I found myself looking at her, wondering…if.
But then, what would I be? She would be a prisoner of mine and I would be imprisoned by my own mind. I had to change this. It wasn’t legal or right.
That night I would tell her she could speak. I’d thought and thought about how to do this. I hadn’t touched the cameras, or the footage on the hard drive, or the kinky and fetish gear scattered about the house. But I had thought for ages, through the bleak cool hours of the night, head in hands, staring at her sleeping on my bed.
If I did this right, I could keep her. It was a mental thing. Obviously. Let things slip the wrong way and she’d feel she could get the upper hand. I needed to loosen the reins, but not by too much. What we’d had was untenable anyway. I couldn’t have her blinded and gagged forever, could I? We could be partners, not equal, but partners.
I wanted a woman I could discuss things with. To live life with. It was natural to want that, and I did.
The other, though, wasn’t a want, it was an obsessive need – my need to hurt, to dominate. Pandora’s Box had been opened.
Needs could be controlled. It took determination, and patience, and made me feel like I was locked in a box with wet cement pouring in, but I could do this, even if the pressure burst my head.
Find a solution. There must be one.
