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“Was your brother flawed in such a manner?”
“No.” Poppy laughed as I tugged gently on her hair. “Ian’s never had any interest in learning how to wield a sword. He’s far more interested in making up stories.”
“Smart man, then,” I murmured.
She nodded. “Ian abhors violence of any kind, even in self-defense. He believes that any conflict can be resolved with conversation—the more entertaining, the better. He…” She peeked at me again. “He didn’t like that I trained to fight—well, he didn’t like the idea of the violence, but he knew it was necessary for me.”
“He sounds like he was a good brother.”
“He is.”
Is.
As in present tense.
But he likely wasn’t anymore. Whatever ideas of anti-violence Ian held had long since left him—the moment he Ascended.
That weighed heavily on my mind as I told her how I earned the scar on my waist, an inch-long slash courtesy of the tusks of a wild boar that my brother had dared me to attempt to capture.
Poppy struggled to stay awake through the conversation, and the way she kept blinking her eyes was…it was fucking adorable. Finally, sleep took her, but it evaded me as I lay there, my finger still wrapped around the strand of hair.
When she woke, I would have to tell her the truth and what was to come. I would need to convince her that the Ascended were the monsters. That way, I could prepare her for what she’d find in the capital when I exchanged her for Malik. She was a fighter. She would survive until I got to her again.
I can’t do this.
Fuck. The idea of handing her over to the Blood Crown sickened me. Anything could happen to her. Anything. They needed her for something. There was no reason for them to position her as a Chosen and convince an entire kingdom of that fact, unless it benefited them somehow. But even if they truly only planned to Ascend her? My chest lurched. I couldn’t let that happen—let her be turned into a cold, soulless creature who no longer sought to take away the suffering of others but thrived on causing agony.
But I had to free my brother, and the only way to do that was through Poppy.
The reality of the situation sat like a fucking boulder on my chest. There were so many what-ifs—what if I couldn’t return to her in time? What if she didn’t believe me? What if she chose to stay with the Ascended? And why wouldn’t she? Her beloved brother was one of them. The Queen she knew was like a mother to her. Sure, she understood that some of them were capable of evil, but she would also know that I’d been lying to her.
I would be telling her that the Ascended were using her to back their claims of being Blessed by the gods and could hurt her, but I had also used her. Was still using her.
And I would hurt her with the truth.
I watched Poppy sleep, fucking knowing that the moment she learned the truth there would be no more of this. No more just…just living. No more peace. I would become the one she’d been taught to fear as a child. She would hate me. And I deserved that, but she had to remember that what we’d shared was real. It wasn’t a lie. She had to.
No matter what, I needed to find a way out of this for Poppy.
Godsdamn it, there had to be another way. One that worked to free my brother, would prevent a coming war, and also ensure her safety even if she never stopped believing in the Ascended. Because it wasn’t like I could let her roam free, even here, not with those who believed she willingly symbolized the Crown that had taken so much from them. There were people I’d trust with her in Spessa’s End, which sat at the cusp of the Skotos. She could live a full, happy life there. But I couldn’t endanger all we’d worked for if she betrayed us in the end, running back to the Ascended the moment she had a chance.
I laid the strands of hair on her arm, my mind doing what it always did in the dead of night, but it wasn’t rehashing old memories. It was racing to find a solution.
But I already knew the answer, didn’t I?
Closing my eyes, I cursed under my breath. That was the only option…unless we reneged on the deal immediately after I made the exchange, not allowing the Crown to make it far with her. And it was we reneging on the deal. Not just me. I was honest enough with myself to acknowledge that it would take not only those who could fight here but also more.
And I was smart enough to realize that act alone might very well ignite the war I sought to prevent.
